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  • #65965
    charlotte
    Participant

    Hi buddah community
    I’m writing because I need to get my thoughts somewhere, and maybe you all can help me see clearly. I am dating someone, whom I think, has severe mental health issues. I love him a lot but I feel like his burden is my own, which I am struggling with. He got burnt out at his last job, not making a lot of money and yet still supported his parents and brother, which is very generous since he is only 24. However, he unexpectedly quit because he knew his mental stability would not be good there for another year. Now, he is unemployed, and scraping pennies. He complains about not having a job, and not having anything to do because he doesn’t have money and being bored. I completely understand as I would feel the same way. However, im getting frustrated trying to comfort him, and understanding what I should be doing. I don’t know how someone finds well paying jobs anymore. He is super smart and has multiple years of experience in the workforce. Sometimes he’ll have major depressive episodes of crying or just lack of motivation. Sometimes he will be unreachable by phone which begins to worry me (I don’t want him to hurt himself, he’s had these thoughts before). He’ll just literally shut off from the world. He sees a therapist but is not on any medicine. With all that said, I know this is about him and not me, but I can’t help being pained by his suffering and wondering how I can best help. I feel frustrated and I just want us to go back to times that were happy, but then feel guilty for being so selfish. I’m afraid he’ll get more upset if I tell him I can’t help him sometimes for my own happiness.

    #65967
    Krista Jennings
    Participant

    Hello Charlotte.

    I think that you are very critical as you are able to see things that not many people would be able to see while being invested in such a situation. I don’t know the entire story. But I would suggest that you be kind and true to yourself. Do you see things changing in the near future? Is this affecting your joy and motivation to do the things that really matter to you? If you’re still uncertain, you may need to step back from the entire situation to get more clarity. At the end of the day, you need to be more kind to yourself and be true to your needs and your horizon. All the best with this.

    Krista

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