Dear Jennis:

You asked: “Should I continue smile and greet him when I see him”?-

My answer: only if you want to annoy him more. After all, he told you: “why are you always smiling.. don’t do that it’s so annoying”

He gave you information: he is annoyed when you smile at him. And yet, you are considering smiling at him. Not a good idea if you want an improved work environment for you.

You wrote: “I wasn’t aware that he thought I was annoying… I smiled because he was angry and I wanted to lighten up the mood”.

Well, now you are aware that smiling at him when he is angry does not lighten up his mood but annoys him.

You asked: “should I just act like he doesn’t exist like he’s treating me right now?” Yes, I believe you should. There is nothing you can do about his dislike of you, unfortunately. His dislike of you is already established. It is similar to a person disliking broccoli. It already happened.

Yes, better ignore him and that includes not smiling at him.

anita

Hello Jennis,

You ask how to handle this.  You perceive this person as not liking you.  I’m wondering…does he treat other people in the same manner as you?  Some people are just unhappy, and it has nothing to do with the person who is on the receiving end of their unhappiness.

If I were you, I would continue to be who you are – if you are pleasant and smiling, who cares?  Continue to be pleasant and smiling.  If it irritates the other person, that is on him.  Why should you change to please him?  Anymore than he should change to please you?

Recognize the person for who he is.  Accept you won’t be best buddies.  When he gets irritated with you for something benign, it is just fine for you to be annoyed with him and say so…”You know, Fred, your irritation is completely irritating.”  It tells him you won’t let him project his negativity on to you, and it might even make him smile.

Airene