You wanted an update so here it is… This will suprise you so sit down. 🙂

We agreed to cook lunch together because it makes more sense than if I cook by myself and then she cooks by herself. After the cooking we hung out essentialy for the whole day. We went shopping together and when we were returning I saw a childrens playground and I convinced her that we should go on a swingset. So we sat there swinging and talking about this and that until it went dark which was for about 2 hours.

I again asked some personal questions and some more provocatice ones. She also talked about her bf. She did not explicitly tell me but I deduced this information from how she was talking about him, that she is not happy with this relationship and as I see it this relationship has an end date. She said all by herself again how fun it is talking to me because how I listen and she feels she can tell me everything without being judged. She also told me that I am much more mature then her bf eventhough he is 3 years my senior. This told me she is thinking about me in a boyfriend sort of manner.

Then we came home and she made dinner for the both od us and then we also made a cake.

So my feelings and observations now are this. The whole day went like we were together without the physicality. I think she does see me in a partner sort of way but I also dont think she is ready to let her current boyfriend go, because she is afraid of being alone in the long run, because she thinks she is not good enough. Also she puts up with his indifferent behaviour towards her because she secretly feels she does not deserve anything better anyway. She herself said she is not acustomed to such kind behaviour that I show her. I think she really likes my attention and I am a huge ego boost to her. She knows I like her and that she likes me eventhough she might conciously not admit it because that would mean she would have to break the status que that she is currently residing in. At times I feel like whe wants to say something but she is afraid.

I also think I made a mistake here. Yesterday I was too kind to her (sounds very silly). I asked her if she is cold a lot of times, when we watched movie I covered her feet without her saying she was cold and throughout the day I was just being her boyfriend without any of the physicality and I must say it almost completely killed my attraction towards her. The chemistry is slowly fading away because we spent to much time together and she started leaning on me for emotional support and I gave it so we essentially skipped about a hundred steps in the evolution of a relationship. I believe a budding relationship needs make-out sessions and sex to establish a certain level of intimacy and trust and in this case this intimacy and trust were forced upon us. I find it tough explaining it here. I would do much better in person.

All in all I dont think she is ready for a relationship with me right now. We might come together eventually because we do feel comfortable in each others company and we do have a lot to talk about, but she is not in a very good place right now and what she needs right now is a friend and not a possible lover. She needs to break up with her current bf, take some time for herself so she can trully appreciate how good a person she is and only then when her palette is clensed can I start something with her. I am a 100% sure that if she breaks up with her bf and if she immidiately becomes my gf that we would not start from a natural start of a relationship but somewhere in the middle and the relationship would be forced in a fashion.

Thanks for reading. 🙂
Matic

• This reply was modified 9 years, 1 month ago by Matic.

Thanks anita for the feedback. I did indeed wish I would get it. 🙂

I completely agree with you. I do think she should first be happy all by herself.

Firstly: I dont think she will break up with him anytime soon. I think it might take to about a half a year. Also I dont think she would have broken up with him at all if she wouldnt have met me. I think now that she sees what kind of men exist it might open her eyes up eventually. This might seem arogant but her actions and words speak for themselfs. 🙂

Secondly: It is not that simple for me. As I said the attraction is almost all gone. I guess it is my brains defense mechanism. When I finally realized that this thing will not go as I want for a long time I just lost interest. This might seem a little weird as I was completely enchanted by her yesterday but I cant really help it. I am at a time in my life where I have a lot of stuff going on. Like really a lot and thus I am searching for a person who would be really easy going and who would help me unwind after a long day. Someone without the drama. Someone who will be happy without me, because I will not be capable to spend much more then about 10 hours per week with here for at least this school year. So in essence someone who does not need me and does not need me to fix their issues. I need a person who is happily single right now. I hope you understand. I know this is asking really a lot from girls that are my peers (I am only 21) but I would rather be single than have to face all of what I wrote above. I am perfectly capable of waiting for my time for as long as it takes.

I again hope I made sense. 🙂
Matic

• This reply was modified 9 years, 1 month ago by Matic.

Today we again talked for 3 hours and listened to music and it was again very fun. I think it really helped our relationship that I cleared my head of expectations. If we ever happen to get together I will be a happy man but I am sure that time is not right now.

About the “here”. It is a mistake. I think in the latest post I made it only once. Dont forget… I am not a native speaker. I am a Slovenian. 🙂

Thanks for the compliments. 🙂
Matic

I read a lot od books in English so that is the culprit. 🙂 I dont know if I spelled that correctly but I am sure you understand.

You will hear from me again.

Have a great day.
Matic