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What should I do?

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  • October 18, 2015 at 7:43 am #85592
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Matic:

    I am assuming you still want feedback? My thoughts: “she needs to break up with her current bf, take some time for herself… her palette is cleansed…” This is a nice SHOULD. Not likely to happen because she is afraid to be by herself. It is an indication to me that you are a good person, not inclined to take advantage of another person’s weakness. You are thinking she should learn to be happy alone first. It is making me think of the concept of Nice Guys finish Last. Not that I recommend you not being a nice guy, so stick with me, if you will. If she breaks off with him, she is likely to jump into another relationship before she learns how to feel good about herself alone. So another, less sensitive man, not interested in her well being, will get the goodies, that is her body. And you, the nice guy, will not.

    I do believe in being the nice guy as long as you see the whole picture and are prepared for the possibilities.

    What do you think, Matic?

    anita

    October 18, 2015 at 8:06 am #85593
    Matic
    Participant

    Thanks anita for the feedback. I did indeed wish I would get it. 🙂

    I completely agree with you. I do think she should first be happy all by herself.

    Firstly: I dont think she will break up with him anytime soon. I think it might take to about a half a year. Also I dont think she would have broken up with him at all if she wouldnt have met me. I think now that she sees what kind of men exist it might open her eyes up eventually. This might seem arogant but her actions and words speak for themselfs. 🙂

    Secondly: It is not that simple for me. As I said the attraction is almost all gone. I guess it is my brains defense mechanism. When I finally realized that this thing will not go as I want for a long time I just lost interest. This might seem a little weird as I was completely enchanted by her yesterday but I cant really help it. I am at a time in my life where I have a lot of stuff going on. Like really a lot and thus I am searching for a person who would be really easy going and who would help me unwind after a long day. Someone without the drama. Someone who will be happy without me, because I will not be capable to spend much more then about 10 hours per week with here for at least this school year. So in essence someone who does not need me and does not need me to fix their issues. I need a person who is happily single right now. I hope you understand. I know this is asking really a lot from girls that are my peers (I am only 21) but I would rather be single than have to face all of what I wrote above. I am perfectly capable of waiting for my time for as long as it takes.

    I again hope I made sense. 🙂
    Matic

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 6 months ago by Matic.
    October 18, 2015 at 8:50 am #85600
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Matic:

    You are making a lot of sense. I very much like your thinking, very much indeed. By the way, when you write the pronoun “her” why do you write it with an e at the end, “here” – I wonder.

    Back to your thinking, like it, admire it, endorse it, support it, wish it on others. Amen.

    anita

    October 18, 2015 at 10:50 am #85606
    Matic
    Participant

    Today we again talked for 3 hours and listened to music and it was again very fun. I think it really helped our relationship that I cleared my head of expectations. If we ever happen to get together I will be a happy man but I am sure that time is not right now.

    About the “here”. It is a mistake. I think in the latest post I made it only once. Dont forget… I am not a native speaker. I am a Slovenian. 🙂

    Thanks for the compliments. 🙂
    Matic

    October 18, 2015 at 12:45 pm #85610
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Matic:

    Your English seems impeccable to me so I was wondering about the here. Again, I like your attitude and thinking.
    anita

    October 18, 2015 at 1:35 pm #85614
    Matic
    Participant

    I read a lot od books in English so that is the culprit. 🙂 I dont know if I spelled that correctly but I am sure you understand.

    You will hear from me again.

    Have a great day.
    Matic

    October 18, 2015 at 2:00 pm #85615
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You too, Matic! Looking forward to hear from you again with another update. Keep up the good thinking!
    anita

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