- This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 10 months ago by Csaba.
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May 28, 2013 at 6:41 am #36180CsabaParticipant
I came to a point in my life where I am starting to question what would make me happy. I am now 18, up untill this point I played a lot of video games with friends and it was okay for me, I enjoyed it very much and it taught me a lot of valuable lessons. Unfortunatelly I cannot enjoy it anymore.
No matter what game I try I just dont care about it or cant enjoy it, I’m kind of over playing video games for my life, but now I have a great amount of free time which I don’t know how to spend. I want to create something big so that people would respect me for that, but I just don’t know what. I started a lot of things, I started to play on instruments, went to a shooting club started doing sports but none of them really grabbed my attention, I found most of them to just bore me. It annoys me because I don’t feel like I’m being usefull to anybody, I just want to find a hobby that would make me feel good but none that other people suggest to me gets me interested. Have you ever been like this in your life? How did it end for you?
May 28, 2013 at 8:25 am #36184Megha VenketasamyParticipantDear Csaba,
That’s awesome- at such a tender age, you may be on your path for an awesome way of living.
I believe most of us, who dare listen to this little voice deep inside of us, there comes a time when we know that we are more than just going to school,playing sports or video games.
There is this craving need to feel like we are adding value everyday.So rest assured, now that you are questioning yourself, I’m sure Universe shall send the right persons your way to help you and guide you.
Meanwhile what should you do?
Start by asking yourself the following questions:
1. What excite you? (in a holistic way, like gets you all energized)
2. What are your talents? (I’m sure many in your surronding give you feedback about you, if not, then go and ask about that)Once you’ve found your talents and understand what excites you- set short goals and starting working, eventually your life vision will unfold..
Just keep on moving and you’ll be greatMay 28, 2013 at 9:42 am #36190DeniseParticipantKeep trying different things; whatever sings to your heart and not what other people tell you you should do.
Don’t approach it from the point of view that you want to create something big. That can put a lot of pressure on you.See this as a time of exploration. Eventually, you’ll come across something that you just can’t get enough of and then the really exciting journey will begin.
You have plenty of time so don’t rush, you’re still young.
May 28, 2013 at 11:45 am #36196AnonymousInactiveThis may sound a little strange and I’m not sure if it works for everyone, but when I’ve been feeling restless and I notice that my mind can’t find pleasure or satisfaction with anything, rather than seeking something to fill the void, I try sitting with it as long as I can.
Your first natural instinct is to seek out pleasure, distraction, meaning, and satisfaction, but amazing things and especially insights can occur if you try to stay and embrace the boredom and lack of fullfillment.
It can feel very uncomfortable not to feel productive or satiated, but at the same time, it can be a very amazing growth and learning experience to pass through these periods of your life without exertion or struggle. (And yes, this is not the last time. These feelings come to us when we’re 18, 28, 38, and probably will until the day we die.)
So what if we didn’t always given in to that struggle and play that tug of war with ourselves?
Allow me to paint a picture; imagine yourself approaching a running stream and feel this desperate need to want to cross it. You see a stepping stone that you think will help you get across and you jump on it. From that stone, you see another that you think will bring you closer to the other side so you jump on that one. And you continue jumping from stone to stone, but none of them are placed in such a way that will allow you to cross the stream leaving you frustrated jumping back and forth.
So what would happen if instead, you just sat by the water’s edge and watched the river flow by for awhile. What if you started breathing deeply, connecting with your surroundings, and appreciated the sound of the water, the sun’s rays bouncing off the surface, the wind blowing around you, and the trees casting shadows. Eventually, I believe, you’ll discover an entirely new world around that perhaps you weren’t aware of as well as some insights about yourself that could only be found by doing absolutely nothing.
Like I said, it may not work for everyone, but I invite you try this excercise of just sitting with the restlessness, observing it, and not struggling against it. It has worked really well for me in the past and I hope to continue to this practice in the future.
June 8, 2013 at 4:47 am #36585LesleyParticipantPeter,
What a wonderful suggestion. I’m having the same struggle right now.. I’ve been stuck without a purpose in life for quite awhile now. This advice reminds me of something I read by Pema Chodron. She said to lean into the discomfort. This is scary, unsettling advice.. but I think I’ll give it a try. Thank you!
June 10, 2013 at 8:27 am #36708JadeParticipantThere’s an article from the Tiny Buddha blog that I keep bookmarked for this exact purpose: http://dev.tinybuddha.com/blog/4-lessons-on-how-to-find-the-right-direction-in-life/
I also agree that Peter’s advice is equally valid. If you want, try leaning into your restlessness and see where it takes you.
February 26, 2014 at 3:29 am #51814CsabaParticipantHello everyone, it has been a long time since I posted this, and I just wanted to tell you that, the problem has been solved a long time ago.
I started going to the gym and I started singing with a teacher, and I love to do the both of these, never would have I imagined that I would do these in my life ever, and both of them happened randomly.
I just went to the gym with one of my body building buddie to try it and absolutelly fell in love with it. My singing teacher I met thought the new college I’m going to, and I just cant stop doing it. Both of these things fill out just as much time of my life as I wanted to, and I feel like a whole again.
As you can see, life solved the problem for me, and if you are struggling with this question too, it will solve it for you too, just be brave enough to try new things.
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