Dear maggie mac:

I think this guy is immature. He is using pick up lines on you, making statements that are exaggerated, unbelievable, and not honest or authentic. His behavior does not indicate this is an honest, mature, wise man.

Good observations on your part. I hope your next coffee date, if you are interested in dating, will be with an honest, no bs, mature man. Let this experience serve you with a clear example of who to NOT date.

I hope you post again.

anita

Dear maggie mac:

You are welcome. I want to analyze this guy’s behavior a little more as an exercise for myself and maybe you would like to follow my analysis? If so here it is as I type it:

You met him once for coffee, once for a few minutes by your house and you talked on the phone. I will type what he said and did and in parentheses- what his possible, not exact, but possible or probable messages are, what he is indirectly saying to you:

He said he is working and has only a few minutes free (I am a busy, important working man and I am taking the time for you)

He led you to the table and placed the coffee and water for you on the table: he chose the table and the location of your drinks (I know better than you what is good for you. You are helpless, not capable of taking care of yourself. and I can take care of you!)

Some people commented on his car (I am supposing it is an expensive car: I am an important, rich guy living a glamorous life)

He said you make his car and himself look good (and you can be part of my glamorous life!)

He told you how much he likes your looks, everything about your face, your height (He is ready to make the purchase to fit his car and his glamorously looking life… the purchase of you to fit in his car)

He told you he wants your photo so to put it on his phone (You will be safe with me forever, no more worries for you, you can rest now. You will be secure and protected in my phone and in my life)

He told you his last girlfriend was a gold digger (I am rich!)

He told you how hard it was to meet a good, honest person with a good heart but how he could tell I had a good heart. (And you are different than she was so you are not going to make me spend much money on you… you don’t want to look like a gold digger, do you?)

He worked out and was in good shape and had a nice face and seemed nice and decent. (I too look good in my own car and I look… look so nice and decent)

he started telling me that he was picky (You are so lucky to be picked by picky me!)

He also said he had only been with “intimate” with 3 women in his life. (indeed you are lucky if I get intimate with you!)

But he also told me that women “hit” on him quite a bit. (And you have competition, so better take advantage that I only want to be intimate with you!)

He tells me he wants to get to know me and to know me the rest of his life. (Again, you are safe and secure in my phone and in my life forever more… happily-ever-after is here for you!)

He wants to kiss all the time and to touch me on my hair, face and sometimes will take my hand and place it on his face. (Aren’t you lucky that even though I am rarely intimate with women, I have chosen you out of all the women who hit on me…?)

He told me he was 62 (I am younger, and rich and picky and etc…)

Conclusion: You wrote in your last post that he is “old enough to know better” – I am thinking he already knows better, that is he knows that the messages above have worked to his benefit in the past and still, can work. This is what he knows and there still are women- of any age- with whom this will work.

anita