Dear Danielle,

I am sincerely sorry for all that you’ve suffered and are still suffering.

It is extremely difficult to have direction when we do not have a figure, mentor, and in your case, parents, to guide us. What are we supposed to know aside from what society teaches us? Indeed, it is difficult to tell unless we are given proper instructions.

To help you understand your parent’s conditions and situations and perhaps obtain empathy, please know that no matter how smart or ‘enlightened’ we may seem or are, we will never have all the answers nor ever will. There is so much information poured onto us nowadays, especially so in today’s global society, that we tend to confuse quantity with quality. What is the point of being smart if we do not know how to apply it in a way that will give our lives meaning? It’s also possible that this overwhelming flood of information can cause us to no longer make sense of things. Understanding this will help us what we feel we need to retain and what we need to release and overlook. This also helps us keep compassion at those who are more insensitive and less understanding.

Despite your upbringing, I am very glad that to know that you did not fall into a destructive path, though this statement can be debated. Your description of college life is also accurate. Such is the life of (some) of those who continue with their education. The reason many of these individuals endure are due to their vision of their goals. In the long run, they may see having a college education as something significant to their lives and for their futures. Also, know that while some (like you) have no choice in the hours of labor they must put in (in + our of school) to pay their bills, there are those who choose this much more difficult path of their own accord; perhaps as something they must prove to themselves. Regardless of the reasons, I hope this commonality can bring you some peace and strength in continuing your studies.

As for what you should do in life, only with your continued experiences will you know. As you continue to dwell upon certain thoughts and matters, as you continue to be exposed to everyday new things, as you continue to have interactions and simply go about your everyday goings will you be able to find an answer. Searching for our passion is, I believe, one of our goals. Therefore, please do not overly worry of being unsure of what it is you wish to pursue since we are not supposed to know in the first place.

Lastly, even though you’re unsure of many things at the moment, do not give up. The fact that you are seeking help on this forum proves that you desire happiness. And happiness cannot be obtained unless it is sought. If you continue to seek it, you will eventually find it. So stay strong for there is no materialization without first putting in the work.

Al