Hi Brian

Being positive is to be on your own side. We have the ability to imagine or project the future whether it is the next minute, the next hours or 10 years from now. Being positive would be to think in your favour. Now this can become unrealistic if you think you’ll become a marathon runner but don’t train. But, where it is powerful is when there are outcomes you can’t control. Gives your mind and heart peace and relief. To me there doesn’t need to be true positive. That is not how it works. It is to what degree do you have to think favourably to make life worth it for you.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by samy.

I wish, but no. You could try re-reading what I wrote. But that’s how look at being positive.

Hi Brian!

I’m curious about what you would like to improve on?

I previously suggested that consistent behaviour is important.

My husband is a Buddhist that recovered from depression and a very positive person, most of the people in my life suffer from depression, amongst other mental health issues.

Initially, they felt that he wasn’t genuine because their own perspectives are radically different. It took time for people to understand that he is is just the way he is.

Of course, there are some people who don’t mean what they say. Who are being pleasant on the surface only. There are also many genuinely kind and polite people. It takes simply takes time to understand the nature of a person.

Hi Tommy!

Thank you for sharing. You are entitled to your own opinions. Personally, I feel like your definition of positivity would be better described as morality and courage. Whilst positivity absolutely can be an action, I stand by my previous comment about it also being related to thoughts and beliefs. Please allow me to clarify.

Many people experience automatic thoughts. Depression and traumatic experiences tend to shape unhealthy thoughts and beliefs. This can result in unhealthy behaviours.

My experiences on the journey of recovering from my own mental health issues involved changing these negative automatic thoughts and reframing them from a healthier perspective. This resulted in a more positive attitude which  fostered healthier behaviours.

Brian,

The reason people are polite is because society is built upon respect for one another, human beings. Being rude and disrespectful just because you do not truly care about another person is not acceptable. And, it will often elicit unwanted reactions. Call it fake if you want to. But, being nice to one another is what gets us thru the day.

Helcat,

Courage is about doing something in the face of danger (or being harmed). Morality is about right or wrong in the context of society. Being positive is doing the things you believe is right regardless of what you believe the outcome of your actions will be. Example would be to get up and go looking for a job even though you believe you won’t find a job that day. That isn’t about morality or courage. Another example would be to buy a lottery ticket even though one knows the odds are so heavily stacked against winning. That is being positive.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Tommy.

Brian,

What obligation do I have to you? Meaningless because you care not about the truth of the situation. You want the real stuff? You want people to be honest? Being disrespectful doesn’t just come in words you say but also what you do. Saying it was great talking to you is just being pleasant. But, you want honest? Stuff like “Get the hell away from me because I don’t like you”. “Don’t reply to me, I don’t like your honesty.” Or people to just walk away from you while you’re talking. Poor baby, no one is treating you the way you want. Well, here is walking away from you.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Tommy.

Hi Brian!

There are different levels of caring about others.

Kind people may care about strangers. This might involve caring about their needs being met. They may believe in treating all people with respect and kindness. Perhaps, they also care about the happiness of others. Even if all they can do is try and make you smile or laugh for a brief moment.

Caring about acquaintances might mean taking an interest in their life. Being willing to listen to any difficulties they are having. You might even do favours for each other or exchange gifts.

Caring about friends and family is obviously going to be a deeper connection. Perhaps this involves sharing private thoughts and emotions that you may be unwilling to share with others. Often, people will feel concern and want to help if a loved one is struggling.

Obviously, there are many things left out. Individuals may be willing to do different things at different levels. It is natural for some people to come and go in our lives. Ultimately, no one is forced to laugh at jokes, smile or compliment another. They do it because they want to.

Can I ask you what value the beliefs you discussed add? How do they make you feel? How do you think they would make others feel?

Previously, you mentioned distrust with meeting new people. Where do you think this level of  distrust comes from?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Helcat.