fbpx
Menu

What is and isn't acceptable behaviour after a breakup?

Home→Forums→Tough Times→What is and isn't acceptable behaviour after a breakup?

New Reply
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • November 11, 2014 at 7:31 am #67679
    Gardener1
    Participant

    In a way the process of writing on here has answered my own question. I will be able to love again because I was incapable of loving truly I the past. Everyone has there own way of dealing with break ups and how they respond to change and I accept now that my ex ‘s new relationship is a solid one. It just sucks that it happened as it did but in a way it has brought me through a very difficult period myself and that can only be a good thing. Reading back on my very long email I see now that I was just at fault as my ex. I was not honest no meter how I felt inside he should, have known about in order to support me I was not able to support him because of this and it was a one way relationship as a result. He had no conscience for the impact on me but I accept that one because he was hurt by my lack of impact on our relationship. We all make mistakes and are human. I forgive him for the breakup and the aftermath but not he’s colleague in he’s role and that is ok too as I have moved on career wise also. There is no right or wrong way to behave after a breakup. The hurt still hurts the same until you heal and I needed to hurt more in order to push through both my breakup and accepting my disability.

    November 12, 2014 at 12:00 pm #67730
    DeepThinker
    Participant

    There’s a lot here. Dating someone you have a working relationship with is never easy. It sounds like you are mourning the loss of this relationship. Replaying the past events in your mind over and over is not productive it only keeps you stuck on what you could have, would have or should have done. At this point, it does not matter, because it is over. Stop tormenting yourself. Some of the most successful people in the world have overcome learning disabilities ADHD and many other challenges to become great at what they do. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
    Everything happens for a reason. This guy is not “the one” for you, but you had to go through this experience to bring you closer to what your purpose is on this earth. At this time, I believe you should stay as far away from your ex and his circle as you can, unfriend him on Facebook and don’t share anything else about your personal life. If you run into him or his family, friends, be pleasant; keep conversation light and very brief. If you are feeling miserable, DO NOT let them know.
    At this time, please pursue therapy to help you overcome your insecurities before dating anyone else. Seek out support groups for people facing your challenges. When you do starting dating again, please give it at least a year before you begin shacking up. Work on friendship first, if you are insecure about disclosing some of your most sensitive feelings with your new love interest, then you probably should not be dating him anyway. I wish you the best!

    November 12, 2014 at 6:32 pm #67738
    Gardener1
    Participant

    Hi . Thank you for your reply. Yes A lot of thoughts there all in one. It’s my first time on this site and I am amazed at what comfort getting peoples thoughts can bring to put things in perspective thank you.

    Everything you say is correct. You are right, the fact I could not open up completely to my ex says enough that he wasn’t the one for me. I tried dating again but stopped as I know I need to work on myself. Joining support groups is a good idea and though I get thoughts of my ex and what could have been many a time I have moved to forgiveness and integrity cutting all contact to help myself move on. It also confirms I’m not on here to get support for my ex’s reaction. After all we hurt each other and he’s hurt was a blessing in accepting he has moved on and removed all hope I had.
    I am focusing on my self esteem issues which stem from schooling and building up a career that works for me.
    Thank you .

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.