What has 2015 taught you?

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This topic has 10 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 3 months ago by Anonymous.

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December 29, 2015 at 12:42 pm #90856

jock
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Joe thanks for your post. I particularly paid attention to the part about bearing grudges. It reminded me of a Buddhist talk I went to and the lady talked about the very same thing. She said “and there was I angst-ridden, hating this person who lived miles away in a different country. I was filled with hateful thoughts and you know what? I was being slowly poisoned by my own mind! I laugh about it now.”
In meditation, we can actually devote a session to one difficult person in our lives. A loving-kindness (metta) meditation is particularly relevant. It is recommended that we stagger our difficult people, so start with the less difficult people and graduate to the hardest ones. 🙂 I’ve tried this actually, and it definitely helps. I’m a long way from expert though. If you know you are going to be obsessed about someone, do a meditation in the morning with them as a focus. I actually add my own Christian prayers (but that is optional 🙂 I’ve found, when I have a good session in the morning, my day goes better.

December 29, 2015 at 12:50 pm #90857
jock
Participant
OK what has 2015 taught me?
That under pressure, real pressure, I am still folding.
That I make the pressure worse, by evaluating my performance negatively afterwards.
That I lack staying power, endurance, determination.
That the older I get, the less patient I am with people who are loud, rude and ignorant.
That I am still prone to obsession and rumination in regard to difficult relationships.

That my sense of humour is still a useful survival tool.
That I have something to offer, but it may not be paid employment.
That TB is a unique forum with a lot of positives.
- This reply was modified 9 years, 3 months ago by jock.
December 29, 2015 at 12:58 pm #90860

Joe
Participant

Hey Jack! Thankyou for you input – I will have to try that at some point (I don’t meditate as such, I prefer walking so I will have to try this next time I go walking!)

I agree about sense of humour being important for survival as well 🙂

December 29, 2015 at 1:32 pm #90863

jock
Participant

I used to jog 10km and it was a meditation without me even realising it. Exercise is a great way to stop the mind obsessing.

December 29, 2015 at 2:41 pm #90865

Saiisha
Participant

Hello Joe,
I do this ritual myself at the end of each year – I look back at the year that just passed, take stock of where I am, and look ahead to the coming year. I’m sorry to hear you felt like you had a rubbish year, and I’ve had a few of those myself, so I know what you mean; but I love how you turned it around to the lessons you learned from it. Here’s to a wonderful 2016!

As for me, I’m similar to you – timid, shy, couldn’t even imagine speaking to a set of 60 loud kids! But I set Courage as the word of my year for 2015 and I do feel a lot more confident at the end of the year than back in January. Even posting in public forums such as TinyBuddha hasn’t come easy, especially when there are so many people with so many different points of view, but when I see and hear from the people who tell me I’ve helped them in some small way, it makes me want to continue on this positive path.

And Jack, as always, I enjoy your perspectives – you certainly have a lot of positive to offer!!

December 29, 2015 at 2:51 pm #90866

jock
Participant

And Jack, as always, I enjoy your perspectives – you certainly have a lot of positive to offer!!

I know… 🙂

December 29, 2015 at 6:46 pm #90874

Anonymous
Guest

Dear J:

2015 has been so far my greatest learning experience year. I see more than ever. And the more I see, the more there is to see.

The “battle mode” you mentioned toward the end of your post, I like that. Can’t experience it continuously, would be too draining. But once in a while… maybe there is a particular song that puts you in that battle mode, you can listen to it sometimes and get going that way. I don’t know what you meant by “glutton for punishment” in the first paragraph. But I wish there is no more of that in 2016.

anita

December 30, 2015 at 3:07 am #90901

Monica
Participant

2015 has been the worst of all the years that I have been on this earth. Feb 2015 I received a petition filed by my beloved husband against me with false allegations that I could never imagine. I tried to reason out with him ,ran pillar to post to save the marriage but nothing really helped. My Parents were rushed to the hospital in emergency thrice and I saw them fighting for life. I also met the love of my life but it was a dream too short lived. I saw bankruptcy. I saw my career at the lowest point in the last 8 years.
Lessons from 2015:
1. I started valuing my parents a lot more. Specially I could feel the connect with my Dad like I had never felt before. Also I learnt how my life affects theirs.

2. Learnt who are my real friends and also learnt to value them. It is important to have good friends as sometimes we cannot express ourselves always to our relatives for the fear of hurting them ,causing pain to them,worrying them.

3. learnt the importance of money which till date I never felt was so important in life( certainly it is not more imp than relations)

4. learnt to handle politics and play safe in corporate culture.

5. Learnt how hypocritic the society could be and how to deal with them all.

6. Realized how much I had valued and loved even my dingy one bedroom apartment.I was surprised to realize my attachment to a lifeless thing only because it meant home to me.

7. learnt that life is not always black and white but has shades of grey too.

8. realized that it is important to express yourself and be vocal about feelings without fear of rules or fear of being ridiculed because life is short lived and it is important to tell how much you love as otherwise people who love you will always feel that you never loved/cared for them while the truth is exactly opposite.

9. Realized that sometimes life puts you in situation when people cannot take a stand that they wish to due to circumstances but not that they do not love or care. Our lives are interlinked with our parents friends society etc;

10. somethings happen for the best like meeting people like Amma ,Nana, Harish, Pavan who make you a part of their family. Feels good to know that somewhere far away there is a home away from my home ,my loved ones stay there.

11.Prayers keep away the bitterness that may get into you when life throws challenges at you. Despite the loneliness , unhappiness , negativity that I have faced I have become more accommodating and giving rather than becoming bitter ,selfish. Thanks to God.

12. Almost overcame the loss of my child as now I believe that my daughter is with God safe, happy, sound and protected and I am sure that I will meet my child when I die. Thanks to my spiritual guide Pavan .

13. Learnt to invest in relations .

14. Have a better clarity on what I want to do in life.

15. Also learnt that it is important that sometimes one should listen to heart than mind as lost moments can never come back.

16. sometimes there is no option but to be strong. keep motivating yourself to go on. Find reasons to fight for what is right. For me the reason is my parents (they are the only reason that I live)

so I can certainly say that 2015 has been the most learning one in life so far

January 11, 2016 at 6:26 am #92102

Nekoshema
Participant

Words cannot describe how horrible 2015 was and how happy I am it’s over. But I never thought of any lessons, so let me see…

First I learned life is precious and you could die at any moment. Not to sound like Chicken Little afraid the sky is falling, but the first person who died was my friends little brother who was riding his snowmobile and ripped his jacket, but he didn’t notice, and died of an infection due to his frostbite. If he was 20. Another friend died along with his father in a crash, he was a year younger than me and his father was 50. And of course there was my 11 year old cousin who died from cancer. I’m not scared that I could be next, but it does make me want to live my life since 2015 was a year of me griping about my job and one day doing something.

I also learned despite not being an Olympian, I miss working out. Also, good shoes. No matter how cheap you are, wear good shoes. It’s almost been a month since I was diagnosed with plantar fasciitis and I’m going insane having to sit and not jogging or walking anymore. Hopefully I can start easing myself back into it in the coming weeks.

I also learned even if you have nothing important in your life, still text/call/email people to see how they’re doing. 2015 was mostly bad news, so I didn’t call people because it was the same old stuff. When I finally did call my grandmother we spoke for almost 3 hours. I have started getting back in the habit of calling every Sunday.

I guess those are the lessons I’m carrying into 2016 and I plan to make this year better.

January 11, 2016 at 9:53 am #92111

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Nekoshema:

Thank you for reminding me about the importance of wearing good shoes!

Hope you have a better year, way better year!

anita
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