“Congratulations for starting a very successful thread, lots of participation!

i like your answer of recognizing emotional mastery in a person over time, in different situations and even then, over time your “interest will be piqued. I will probably talk with them to understand from where their calmness arises.”- I like that: you wouldn’t announce/ declare/ put your whole confidence in a person as one who mastered his emotions, and instead, your interest will be piqued and you will want to learn more.”

I enjoy continuing dialogue with you Anita. None of my writing comes from a place of presumption or false authority. I am here to learn and grow along with everyone else.

I trust that if ever something comes across as offensive, participants are able to not take it personally but address it with me in an open and honest way. I am always ready to correct and adjust myself. Emotional mastery is to me more than calmness in stressful situations, that would be equanimity. Mastery is passionately intimate self-awareness of the slightest triggers and reactions in one’s sphere, and taking full responsibility for the reactions as they occur. It is cleaning up old stored emotions and having *some* standard to live by. One salesperson said of his company, ‘we’re no worse than the rest,’ and if that is one’s standard it will reflect in a person’s life.

Thanks again for participating and your kind comments.

Shay,

Regarding centeredness, are you familiar with the Plutchik Wheel of Emotions?

A search brings up several versions. On my page about triggers and reactions, I chose the one by Suzanne Zeedyk though it has mis-spellings of the emotions, because I like her large white center circle she calls neutral.

Neutrality is also one of what I call the eternal qualities (e-qualities) which are universal characteristics in nature and I theorize are in-born but un-developed in humans.

Have you found an effective means of staying in or returning to center, or neutrality?

Gary

http://www.wholehuman.emanatepresence.com/trigger-happy.html

Brooke,

{{Another sign of emotional mastery in my opinion is to be able take in negative emotions from others, filter them within yourself, and put out only clean, positive, forward moving emotions and responses.}}

I excel at taking in negative emotions from others but not so at putting out clean, positive responses. How do you do it? I am still looking for the button to push.

{{I dealt with severe anger issues due to ptsd associated with adolescent trauma for many years. As I started to normalize in my late 20s and early 30s the first thing I did was almost completely give up anger, I figured I spent 15+ years of my life angry all the time, why not spend the rest of my life free of it.}}

Anger has been my lifelong issue as well. I figured to be free of it too. Tell me how!

{{I like to try to be what I call a negative energy buffer, I take in the bad, absorb it, clean it, and only let out good. If others can’t let it go and have to spill it out fine, but I will not hang onto it for them, the anger leaves once it passes through me.}}

Passing through reminds me of the Litany Against Fear from the book and movie, Dune. Do you know of the Litany?

Litany Against Fear

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

– Frank Herbert, Dune

“Paul Atreides, the son of Duke Leto Atreides I, used the Litany when the Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam compelled him to put his right hand in a device that causes pain as a test of his intellect. The litany helped him to withstand the excruciating agony. NB. This was not actually a test of his “intellect”, it was a test of his humanity in a qualitative sense. A person whose nature is still primarily bestial recoils from pain and seeks to flee it to preserve itself, a person of higher nature goes through it and out the other side in order to remove the threat permanently.”

– dune.wikia.com

Dear Shay,

{{I have worked on centeredness consciously because I saw my father’s excellent example as a child and admired this quality.}}

Having role models, and being role models just by being true to ourselves, is the way of authenticity.

{{ I find that my personal relationship with Jesus Christ brings me back to centeredness as I seek Him immediately in a moment of “turmoil” and remember that He, as my Savior, calms the sea, stills the tempest and has the whole world in his hands.}}

Shay, I was a Christian for 14 years. Your words bring back welcomed feelings of devotion and dedication from that era in my life. I relate well to the feeling of the Savior calming the sea.

[[“I remember a passage of scripture which uplifts my mind and heart, Romans 8:28 ‘And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.'”]]

As a Christian, I carried my Bible with me everywhere and read through it twice, from Revelations to Genesis. I quoted 8:28 often. Now, though I no longer call myself Christian, my inner light responds to passages of scripture.

{{I visualize giving him any situation or problem that frightens, any grief or burden, any pressure…remembering He will unconditionally love and accept me as I am because He is my perfection. I know He also will provide my needs, speak love and peace to my soul, and give me the best gifts…even those in ugly wrappings out of His good-will. All this still is wrapped in gratitude and a peace that prevails myself, others, and circumstances.}}

Beautiful.

{{I find meditation and prayer is essential to centeredness, and the best thing for me is being alone in nature, sitting or lying on the ground, being aware of myself first on a physical plane, then an intellectual plane, then on an emotional plane. I discuss with myself and the Lord my observances. I take my puzzles to Him and wait quietly for answers or sometimes simply name the blessings which continually abound around me.}}

Nature emanates the presence of the Lord. I just use other words to express it now.

{{In the midst of extreme stress I find that I usually focus on the gratitude and then revisit later all the emotions on the canvas. Staying with each until it is processed, and being patient as I move from one to another.}}

An excellent practice, Shay.

{{I usually can identify what causes my fear and grief fairly quickly so as to avoid the secondary emotion of anger, but there is a backlash in that when anger is not expressed openly it can be hard to express and own the root emotions. I have to work hard at giving myself the proper amount of time and the permission to really explore and express each emotion deeply. To cry, to pray, to grieve actively, and to be fearless and unashamed of the human vulnerabilities called emotions.}}

Yes, fearless and unashamed, exploring and expressing. I copied from my blog post into a response to another reader, in which I give my view of emotions, feelings and the greater flame. My views are malleable and I respect yours, and what works for you.

{{I don’t know if this is what you were looking for, but it is a bit of my life.}}

Just before reading your response, I posted a new discussion in Emotional Mastery, “Why Fear Religion?” I am still finding a middle ground.

{{Self expression is my another go to, and I find that any art, writing, music or active play absolutely necessary. I very much get bogged down in depression or irritable when I don’t work into my life these things.}}

Sometimes the day is so filled with the ‘have to dos’ that what is essential gets list. I play on steel tongue drums when I can, but there is a lot more room for using self expression and creativity in my life.

{{Lastly I look for ways to bring life and sunshine for others. Planting flowers where others can see them, or simply smiling at strangers. Giving freely the love and grace we receive keeps those channels open and centers me more and more. This is my last resource, being dependent at times upon the first. However, when the others do not bring me relief from grief, which can be a real beast to process and be thankful for, this particular practice is a life saver. Making sure however that “giving” is truly giving is crucial. This cannot be a to do list. It cannot be fueled by fear, obligation, or guilt. It must be fueled by gratitude. And there we are again. Gratitude attitude.}}

Shay, I will re-read this. It is a gem.

{{Thank you for prompting me to put this into words. I do not believe I have truly explored this subject thoroughly.}}

It is all in service. Blessings to you.

Gary