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what am i scared of losing.. how can i claim it

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • October 26, 2014 at 11:52 am #66824
    silentwatch
    Participant

    hi
    I was as lost as anything on earth or beyond.. i am in love and the girl of my dream no longer seems happy with me.. she is either keeping silent or not reciprocating. I am still hopeful to get in track and that hope guides me… but at the same time the whole thing and uncertain future eats me.

    a worried search brought me here.

    Overcoming the Fear of Loss: 5 Steps to Get Unstuck

    &

    1. Ask yourself, “What am I scared of losing?”

    This may seem like an obvious question, but I’ve learned that it’s all too easy to go through our days, making choices, without recognizing the underlying feelings that motivate them.

    Whenever you have a choice to make, recognize in what way you’re motivated by the fear of losing something, whether it’s comfort, security, control, money, companionship, or something else.

    Once you understand what you’re scared of losing, you can…

    I TRIED THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME – and i tried to think and to be frank i understood what my wants are..
    I wanted to get so intimate with her.. she is resisting that though once shew signs of interest.
    I wanted her to behave the same way she used with me few months back.. but she is no longer doing that
    I wanted her to know that all my pleasures are around her and i love her that much .. but she doesnt listen to.

    So how can one win the prize? is there any hope for future regrouping?
    letting go the fear and ignoring my ultimate want will help me to be happier again?

    • This topic was modified 10 years ago by silentwatch. Reason: quote to correct
    October 26, 2014 at 12:30 pm #66830
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    What she is feeling Is Tension And Inablity to ease her life and just enjoy be independent BECAUSE You are pinning all Your hopes on her . Noone likes a person who is too dependent on them for everything . Girls are like the waves in an ocean . They require emotional changes in the surroundings once in a while atleast But Your stoic and stiff one-dimensional goody -goody love is boring as hell and making her lose her nerves . Myabe she has already been in many relaionships And You are not her first boyfriend or even first crush – So she wants to maybe take it easy And doesnt feel instant attraction like You do . YOU KNOW GIRLS DO LIKE A GUY WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES .

    My Best advice is to take it slow , just involve with her only temporarily …. dont get over her head everytime …. And Hopefully , she will start to get comfortable With you Or You will maybe realise Slowly enough she might not be into you And you might get bored With her too And You will have the courage to break up if iT is necessary . IT ALL DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR Emotions , MAN .

    October 26, 2014 at 12:44 pm #66832
    silentwatch
    Participant

    all i can see is the picture just above your name.. and the words really really got meanings.. yes i became a weaker person after i had this feeling.. and just before i was in total control (atleast i believe so) yes she was so comfortable then..
    waves in an ocean…. so need to learn so much to row my boat… but one thing is sure i wont get bored with her that is where i placed her 🙂

    thanks alokji.. thanks a tonne

    October 27, 2014 at 2:25 am #66862
    Will
    Participant

    I’m not sure you read that article all the way to the end.

    5. Change how you see the inevitability of loss.

    The reality is loss is inevitable.

    We will all lose relationships, situations, and states of being that we enjoy and love. Even if we practice non-attachment, on some level we will get comfortable with people and circumstances.

    You could say that this is what makes life beautiful and meaningful—since nothing lasts forever, each moment presents unique possibilities worth fully appreciating and savoring.

    Or you could say this is what makes life tragic—that everything is fleeting, and eventually it all slips away.

    How we choose to see things dictates how we’ll experience them. Would you rather see everything as precious or pointless?

    You know what the not-tiny Buddha would say to this, right?

    It is your craving for this girl, your insistence that you must have her, and only she will do, and things have to be the way they were or you just can’t stand it, that’s making you miserable.

    Maybe she’s just distant because she’s distracted, and she’ll come back to you. Maybe she’s just not that into you. There’s not much you can do, there’s no magic formula that you can follow and win the girl. Girls aren’t prizes. You want her, so make that clear, and be available to her. If she wants you too, it’ll work out. If not, it won’t.

    Your work should be on letting go of your attachment to the outcome here, and work on loving her and you and everyone, however things turn out. Good luck, man.

    October 27, 2014 at 9:26 am #66880
    silentwatch
    Participant

    thank you so much.. yes i read till the bottom and felt so happy that i really took time and effort doing so.. your quote helped me to reread those.. these may be easy for people with courage to withstand.. but mine is so tiny that it bursts since it doesnt demand 100 things.. all it need is just 1..

    thanks amul for those links

    October 29, 2014 at 12:24 pm #66995
    jeena
    Participant

    A man in love is a beautiful thing and gives me hope that one day I will have someone feel that way about me. Maybe she will fall in love with you too. Hang in there! Sometimes persistence is the key.

    November 2, 2014 at 10:55 am #67162
    silentwatch
    Participant

    thank you so much.. prayers from good heart will keep things moving..
    I will you meet him sooner..

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