Dear jock:

As I think of this quote now, I don’t see it as we all have to pay for our sins, not at all. What I get from it is that we, you, jock, me anita, Seaisland and every single person reading this and otherwise every person in this world has it coming. It coming is death. We will all die… the good, the bad and the ugly. We all have death coming, and not only that, but pain and sickness, and it doesn’t matter if we sinned at all or how much. I think it is some kind of delusion to think that if we are good, we will be protected… we can do our best to maximize our chances to be healthy and safe, but we all have it coming.

What says you, jock?

anita

Dear Seaisland:

Good point about scripts vs real life: delivery of lines is different, very different than the lines one comes with spontaneously. I am far, far from worshiping movie stars or other celebrities. But movies, the images, sounds on the big screen are provide a powerful delivery of concepts. As to your favorite quote, I am not having a good reaction to reading it because I believe that a child who was unloved and mistreated does not choose those furnishing in his or her brain. Unfortunately one is stuck with those furnishing until the person goes through the long and difficult process of healing. And once healed enough, the choice of furnishing has already been selected through the process, piece by piece, over time.

Dear jock:

I appreciate you answering my question. My thoughts about your answer:

You wrote: “It is possible for suffering to make us better people, more compassionate but not all the time.”- I agree with that, possible but not necessarily so and often it is not so. Most abuse of others in the world is delivered by people who suffered themselves and pass on the suffering to others.

As to what you wrote here: “I seriously think I still have some debt to pay for past sins. Example, quitting jobs too easily. Deep down I think I haven’t suffered enough for this yet, which makes me apprehensive about the future.” Understandably to me, if you believe you didn’t pay enough yet for past mistakes or … sins, then you would be apprehensive- it is not a calming thought to imagine the ways you are yet to suffer. What you are describing here is a core belief, a long held deep belief. In the Cognitive Therapy I attended there are exercises done on paper during the therapy session: stating a core belief like that and examining it scientifically for accuracy, being open to maybe it is so, maybe it is only partially so, or completely inaccurate.

Would you like to examine this core belief, that you are yet to pay with pain and suffering for your past mistakes (or future mistakes)?

anita

Dear Seaisland:

Amazing- as I saw a few moments ago that you posted, I was worried, worried you felt rejected by my post and maybe (my automatic tendency… an old furnishing) you will attack me. Then, still before I read your post, I said to myself: It is okay. I expressed my thoughts and feelings honestly, and there is nothing wrong with it. I can’t and shouldn’t tailor my thoughts so to not trigger others (walking on eggshells). Then I read your post, and how refreshing- your healing path meeting with my healing path on this very post of yours! It made you think of how you react to posts and examine… And it makes me think right now: I may share a quote or say something that makes me feel good but it may trigger discomfort in someone else. In one quote one can see this … and another can see that. And it is OKAY to share it all, with respect and understanding. So thank you, Seaisland.

And as you explained above what that quote means to you, it makes sense to me. What I saw in your quote before you explained is the old criticism playing in my mind (again, an old furnishing)- “Forget the bad stuff… it is all in your head…” etc.

Hoping our paths meet again this way:

anita

Dear Seaisland:

I thought of the word Trust before I read your latest post. I thought to myself that this is what it must have been, that you trusted me. And then I read it in your latest post. You know, now that I know for sure that you trust me, it is not an option for me to betray your trust. Trust from someone who lost it before, to get the trust of one who was betrayed in the past, this is such a precious, valuable thing, something that needs never be broken. I am moved by your trust of me. It means so much to me. I assure you, I will never break it. It is only with trust that we can venture and (the quote is working for me so far) and replacing those old furniture….

But always keeping in mind, that far from all people are worthy of trust. Believing otherwise is delusional. It is a good thing though, a very good thing to be able to evaluate individuals for trustworthiness and place it where it is deserved.

Thank you, Seaisland for trusting me. Your trust in me is well placed!

anita