Mmmm…. no. I think.an element of temperament comes into it. I’m a naturally positive person. My brother didn’t fare as well as I did, sadly.
But… I’m saying it’s one of the many ways to look at it.
Personally I don’t want to feel sorry for myself . It’s not going to get me anywhere .. this thing thing you’re seeing in my posts is he first time in my life that I’m actually looking at the past rather than glossing over it.

I’m saying I wouldn’t be my strong person if I hadn’t gone through it and I like me. I never ever talk about my past with people. This us my first time making sense of it. It’s painful in places but I’m excited that I’m growing. But I won’t feel sorry for me, maybe feel a bit sorry for those children thst we were bsck then but… I wouldn’t want to not be me. I’ve still got a lot of growing and refining to do but….I just don’t want to not be me and it didn’t do me any harm to go through thst to get here …. only cos I survived though .. the carnage that followed.

If I wanted to make myself feel down, I could by focusing on the bad stuff from childhood – but what would I achieve, to keep reliving it?… after you’ve learnt as much as possible, got as much as you can from it?

When I read the words -strength, resilience, that they wouldn’t be the people they are today.. someone they are glad to be – that seems to me to be such a good place they’ve led themselves, or what you could pay someone to help you achieve. When you know in your heart that there was positives that came from negatives, is it not easier to thank your inner child to of experienced this/ live through this, for you because you now are the person you are today?

Besides the above, another thing I’m happy I gained from my childhood is a low happiness threshold, it doesn’t take all that much to make me happy and feel content. Mostly the way I see it is, I’ll probably live to be in my 80’s and if I were to be granted one wish I wouldn’t use it to change my childhood when I’ve got so many years in front and just going down to the Mega Office Supply shop is fun for me?

Anita I’ve read a lot of your posts, you came across very caring. I’m glad you were strong enough to of survived your childhood. Are you glad you are the person you are today? living the life you are living today?
I hope you are having a content and happy day today.

Hi Anita, I feel I have hurt you, I am sorry it was not my intention. I was sharing how I felt about my bad childhood (except for the last paragraph and I’ll get to that a bit later) what I feel I learnt from it. I still deeply believe that if you experience something bad, be it short term or long, you should think about it, feel it experience it.. but mostly what can I learn from it. Learning from it gives it at least some purpose. I feel this has helped me.
I asked ‘what would I achieve, to keep reliving it?… after you’ve learnt as much as possible, got as much as you can from it?’ maybe could you please answer that for me ?… I can not see how that can help if I’ve already learnt as much as I could already, it only spoils my today.

My own mother, I wish she had learnt this, learnt that her childhood was her childhood, her past… that reliving all that hurt and dumping all that dirt on her children doesn’t Help. I wish she had learnt all she could from it, experienced it all so she would could of moved past it all. She’s over 65 and still hasn’t (even with talking to professionals) I have limited contact with her because she still, gets in her moods and dumps and dumps. She will never understand she kills today when she thinks about yesterday. She will not let go of the anger and hurt, but hurts herself today with it.

I can’t begin to understand all the hurts you have suffered as a child. You replied to another user name, I used once, and you used a very strong negative word to describe my childhood, that was kind of you especially since I believe you endured much more.

Anita the last paragraph again? Are you glad you are the person you are today? living the life you are living today? Are you?

Anita: bang on the money there my girl.

I must thank you because it helps to have someone paraphrase my wittering as ot helps me check I believe what I just said and am not just do saying that . I do admire that in you that you delve in with people. You’re a caring helping person

Please may I ask you… gently.. let’s just take your post as an example, you delved in directly with me and I had to re look at what I thought I meant. .. what happened with snails post where it was felt to be a bit direct. May I ask the feelings that happened in you when you felt those other words were the subtext? Theres no judgement, you’re allowed to feel everything you feel but I thought I’d like to ask … or wonder… do you carry these thoughts around with you? Who was doing thd talking there? Which Anita? X

Ok doke. With love. I read and read and read that post and just could not see what you saw. I saw an invitation of inclusion into the conversation. I saw a genuine interest.
Now of course everyone reads words wirh different eyes. We put our own tone of voice into reading and can easily misread things for the good or bad, depending on our moods and experiences etc. But I saw a gentle Anita suddenly turn into a backed into a corner, come out fighting cat Anita and I thought oocha. .. something significant was triggered there. I began to wonder if it was truly he other girls words or some memory or feelings of judgement you hold inside yourself you were hearing.