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  • #89060
    Runa
    Participant

    A good friend of mine, whom I have known for over 40 years, has shut me out of her life over an FB post. Background: I am aware that indigenous people are “not her favourite people” and that she “doesn’t approve of their lifestyle”. In fact, we have had several personal discussions about this over a period of years. My take is that she would do well to learn about the history of first nations in Canada (and the US) and maybe try to understand the situation in a different light… become a little more enlightened if you will. Unfortunately, she remains very close-minded and will not budge from her point of view. Back to FB… A few weeks ago she posted this message – “I dont care if your black, white, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor. If you’re nice to me, i’ll be nice to you. Simple as that!” I responded with the comment, “Does that include indigenous people?” and huge offence was taken… How dare I criticize her on FB!, that is personal!, you’re a racist yourself, etc. My take was that she posted it on social media where comments and opinions are expected and, because I feel so strongly about the topic I didn’t think twice about calling her on the posting. I did let it get out of hand when I wrote, “You may not like “Indians” but I don’t like hypocrites”. I deleted my posts and told her to do the same if she felt so offended. I did and she didn’t. I cannot bring myself to apologize although I am sorry she feels offended. That being said, this is not how I want to leave our friendship and I don’t know how to peacefully and lovingly find closure. I would welcome comments, suggestions, enlightenment. Did I behave badly?

    #89065
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Runa:

    It is okay for her to not like indigenous people and it is okay for you to like indigenous people. Neither one of you is better than the other for ANYTHING at all that you FEEL. We can NOT help what we feel. We feel what we feel, so better not criticize what each other feel. What matters is what we do, how we behave. If your friend abused indigenous people, that would be an issue, something that will need to be stopped immediately. But the fact she feels dislike for them is NOT a problem. It is her business what she feels. What we feel is a result of chemicals released automatically in our brains, a result of upbringing messages, early experiences… can’t help what we don’t choose.

    You felt anger at your friend and that is why you posted the come back on her nice message. You felt anger and you ACTED on your anger. If your friend does not abuse indigenous people and … they don’t even know how she feels… then I do think you did wrong and should apologize. If she abuses them or anyone, then you are not in the wrong.

    anita

    #89110
    jock
    Participant

    Does that include Aussies? 🙂

    At least we have vegemite, kangaroos koalas and Bindi Irwin!

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 11 months ago by jock.
    #89123
    jock
    Participant

    I don’t care if you’re light purple, mauve, shocking pink, trans-species, a Donald Trump fan, a forgiver of Bill Clinton’s infidelity, a Charlie Sheen fan, watched F-Troop, loved the maid jokes in the Brady Bunch, sing songs from the Sound of music in the shower, loved Crocodile Dundee II, are a gridiron fan of San. Fran. , write blogs about how ultra-spiritual you are or try to hook up potential customers here on Tiny Buddha.
    I still luv you.

    #89137
    Anonymous
    Guest

    * In my efforts (in which I did not succeed yet, hardly) to NOT comment on every single post and comment, I was going to ignore the Aussies comment, but found it impossible to not comment on the second, the one just above mine! It is too hilarious to be left alone there! How indeed hilarious…” I don’t care if you’re… a Donald Trump fan…you are a very, very tolerant man, Jack, almost a saint, indeed! Ha ha ha!!!

    anita

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