“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” ~ Maya Angelou

It’s one thing if fear is keeping them from showing their true selves, but it’s usually obvious when that’s the case.

“I still love him and want him back but I want him to treat me better. Is it time to end NC or keep going until he contacts me?”

If you want him to treat you better, then you want another person, a person that has his face and maybe other pleasant traits but behaves better. A person that does not exist at the moment. It may be easier to give up on his look and find someone else who actually behaves better rather than trying to shape him into what you want. His change is his choice and he may be actually fine the way he is. I suppose you tried already a few times, if words and care did not work up to now, why will they work later? You’ve already been far and that did not change him. He already made promises to you and he did not keep them.

The best thing to do is to tell him that you do not love him anymore (somehow that’s true, you love the non-existing man), that his behavior really put you down. Then close contacts again. Then live a happy life and show him what he is missing of you due to his negligence. At that point when he misses you, if he misses you, he may really take into account the words and the request you used to say and change. But don’t rely on it.