Dear SamC

If feel your pain. My second grandchild spent probably 90% more time with her other granparents or at least if felt like that for the first year, mainly because I and her parents were working and so a lot of the child care was done by the grandfather who was retired.

Maybe you could suggest that your son and his family come around say for Sunday lunch or an outing on a day that is suitable for your both.  Your son may even feel jealous/ left out that you spend more time with his sister and her children.  Another suggestion could be a big family picnic with all the grandparents and it would be lovely for the cousins to play together.   I voiced my needs to my son and now once a month they come with the children for a sleepover having 4 generations under one roof is a challenge but I am so glad that I was brave enough to talk to my son.

Wishing you all the best

[quote quote=420657]I suppose I had visions of what being a grandparent would be like from how my own mother was/is with my kids. I have 3 grandchildren under 3. I see my daughter’s 2 a couple of times a week but I hardly see my son’s beautiful girl. She spends a lot of time with her maternal granny – I work full time and am tired alone but my son & his partner dont seem to consider me at all. How do I stop my self-talk that tells me I’m not as loved, needed wanted or adequate? All I can feel is that I’m not good enough and question how it’s not like I’d imagined. It makes me really sad when I see social media posts of what great days out they’ve had together, etc.[/quote]

I know this comes a bit late. Your desire to have a good relationship with your son is the beginning. The self-talk are excuses for not changing the situation. Causes find conditions and produce the effect you see. Motivate yourself to be part of their lives and they should become more open to you. Trust and friendship and love are not built in a day. Although it takes one day to begin.