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unrequited love advice

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  • #100728
    Suede
    Participant

    I’ve come through 3 years of upset including divorce from a 20 yr marriage, and losing my mother to MND it has had a huge impact on my life. You could say Ive had a full life reboot after this and now find myself in the best place I’ve ever felt, completely fixed, health wise, emotionally and spiritually. After a bout of depression I had counselling but it was after reading the Secret I found a new direction for myself. I recently went online to start dating again and incredibly met a man, who on paper was everything I’d hope and wished to have met, in every way possible. We talked online for 2 months and then met up,spending a weekend at his then he travelled up to spend a weekend at mine. We live 150 miles apart. We hit it off amazingly well, it felt so right, we were so comfortable in each others company like we’d know each other forever, were attracted to each other, there was chemistry and it all felt like it was falling into place. The whole things felt so right and like it was meant to be.
    He then through a curve ball telling me he didn’t want a long distance relationship and broke off all contact. So Ive been ghosted and 3 weeks on it still hurts and I cant get him out of my mind. I still deeply believe he is the one for me but obviously have no way to ever contact him.
    Do I still stick to my beliefs that he will come back when he is ready, if it’s meant to be or listen to others who say maybe he wasn’t the one and something better is going to come along. My heart and head still truly believe.

    #100737
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear suede:

    I am sorry you were ghosted!

    Regarding your last two lines: you wrote “meant to be” – I don’t believe that a relationship could possibly be meant-to-be. I don’t believe in predestination. Also, you wrote “maybe he wasn’t the one”- again, I don’t believe in there being the-one as I don’t believe in predestination.

    I suppose you do believe in predestination? If you do, how do you fit the fact that he ghosted you with the possibility being that he is the-one and that you were meant to be together? How do you fit in these pieces?

    anita

    #100743
    Suede
    Participant

    I suppose Im also questioning that myself.

    Ok I suppose what I need to do is concentrate my efforts on letting it go and moving forward.

    Thanks

    #100744
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear suede:

    You are welcome. If you want to examine this past relationship further and/ or the belief in predestination, I am willing. Otherwise, best to you and please do post again about anything at all, anytime.

    anita

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