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Understanding confusing men

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  • February 5, 2015 at 3:07 pm #72419
    Yue
    Participant

    Hi DW,

    Yes, us men can be confusing especially when we are not sure whether to persue a woman. The trouble is, you can never be sure what the reason might be. It could be that he is speculating (which is my guess), that he is afraid of intimacy due to past experience, that he has other things going on, that he wasn’t hugged enough as a child…the list goes on. If it is any comfort, women can be the same and so a rule I go by these days is that if the other person needs to be convinced into entering a relationship, it’s a thanks but no thanks. Here is an article that I found helpful on this subject:

    http://markmanson.net/fuck-yes

    February 6, 2015 at 5:53 am #72438
    DW2BIPA
    Participant

    @Yue:

    Great article! I will always keep that around when I feel lost again.

    Thank you for reading my post. And I agree. Women are confusing too. I have no words to explain them either.

    February 6, 2015 at 7:21 am #72443
    Kath
    Participant

    What Yue said! 😀

    And wow to you for being so self reflective, for seeing what made you feel awful and taking responsibility and moving on and learning to be independent again! That’s really a tough lesson, and wow that you are taking it on!

    I am very sure not all men are like this! I met wonderful men in my short lifetime, and I would trust them with my life!
    Your gut tells you! And if it tells you confusion, it will be confusing! It is not your responsibility to figure out what issues someone has, or how you should read him.
    Feel flattered and move on (unless you are into confusion! ;-))

    February 6, 2015 at 8:03 am #72445
    DW2BIPA
    Participant

    @Kath:

    Thank you 🙂

    This self-reflection took 5 months to process. It wasn’t an easy path. The first few months were the toughest because I had to break all contact with him and that was the hardest thing I ever had to do. He wanted to still be friends but I knew that was not a good idea. Maybe in the future but it wasn’t a good idea at the time because I knew we would just keep going in circles. But like people say, time heals itself. I didn’t think I would ever come this far though. I thought it would take me years to get over him. I think it was more important for me to reflect on my mistakes and taking responsibility in why the relationship didn’t work, rather than blaming him for breaking up with me. I was so angry at him initially but I think I have finally found that inner peace and I forgive him because I forgave myself. I know I am not perfect and all I can do is learn and move on and hope that I find someone one day that will make me say “F**K YES” (great article posted by Yue: http://markmanson.net/fuck-yes)

    Like you said, I will trust my gut. If it is saying confusion then I am pretty sure its not worth exploring. I am learning something new everyday! Thanks for reading my post. Feels good to get unbiased perspectives from users of this forum. I am so grateful to be part of it!

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