Tulips,

I really appreciate the way you’re looking at this… you’re doing it with maturity and patience, which is commendable! Even your impatience is being approached with spacious consideration. Bravo! A few things came to heart as I read your words.

You’re very normal. Most relationships are challenged by long distance, and its no surprise that your heart is having difficulty. It is not only acceptable that you talk about it, it is necessary. Its where you’re at, and relationships are built on both people relating where they are at. This allows people to grow together, to continue to see deeply into each other… because the trust to share whatever comes up gives the other a chance to peer behind the curtain… to know the heart and mind directly, openly.

As you engage with him, just try to bring the same space you had in the post. Not “you travel too much” or “you need to change” but “this pattern we have is burdening my heart. What can we do?” This works for most of the bumps that arise during intimacy, travel or otherwise. It gives him the opportunity to make informed choices, follow his desires with knowledge. Perhaps you two can innovate a path out of the problem, perhaps he’d rather give up the relationship than the schedule, perhaps something else, who knows.

There are no rules for what we should or should not experience, only cause and effect. If his travelling puts distance between you and him emotionally as well as physically, that’s important for him to honor. Its not your “fault” for being this way or that and you dont just need to “swallow it down”. Its an issue, and if it can be worked out with him somehow, the relationship could flourish under the new conditions you two create. If not, you’ll be able to decide what to do next with more wisdom.

Namaste, dear sister, I hope the puzzle pieces align and fit well.

With warmth,
Matt