Dear readers,

I’ve met the love of my life, let’s call him Cucumber. He’s sweet, handsome, intelligent, and more loving than anyone I’ve ever known. The only problem is that Cucumber lives halfway across the world from me. We’ve been in a relationship for four years, and we plan to get married when he can get a job in the States. Cucumber still has three years left to finish his graduate degree, and even after that there is a very slim chance of him being placed in the US. I have five years left of my professional degree in the States, so moving is not an option for me. And we have both agreed that the US is a better country to live and raise our future children in, in terms of job opportunities, lack of political and environmental turmoil, etc.

I have been visiting Cucumber every year while staying at my relatives’ home in our country of origin, but Cucumber’s highly conservative family will not allow me to stay at their home until we are married. The problem is that they will not allow him to marry me until he has finished his degree and started working. It is a burden for my relatives to host me for a month every year, which seems like a long time to them but a fleeting snapshot to me and Cucumber. My relatives are discouraging me from staying at their home again, but that is the only way I can see Cucumber. Cucumber cannot visit me due to his internships, and I cannot afford a hotel or stay in one alone in our country of origin.

I feel hopeless because:
1) I am in Cucumber’s country now, but will have to return home to the US in three days. Going from seeing him every day to not seeing him for months or years at a time is heartbreaking for me.
2) The whole situation – us having to live halfway across the world from one another – feels unfair. And there is nothing I can do to change that.
3) His parents’ treatment of me feels unfair. If Cucumber were to visit us in the States, then my parents would gladly host him at our home. But his parents are very strict and conservative, so they are unwilling to host me at their home. I feel angry with them, but I cannot voice my anger because that would ruin any chances of marriage between me and Cucumber.
4) Breaking up is not a solution. Cucumber loves me more than anyone else ever has or ever could, and he makes me feel at home no matter where I am. My heart follows wherever he treads. If there is one pure angel on this Earth, it is him. He has a heart of gold and eyes that are so warm and full of goodness that they could melt stone. Cucumber is the only person who makes me feel like myself. Even just hearing his voice on the phone is enough to make me feel alive, in a way that nobody and nothing else ever could. He is the light of my life.

I don’t know how to feel less depressed about this whole situation. If anyone has any soothing words to offer, they would be much appreciated. Thank you very much for reading.

Arya

• This topic was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by Arya Stark.