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Two people arguing within me

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  • November 16, 2018 at 9:54 am #238007
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Julissa:

    I stillĀ  have a person inside me arguing, raining on my parade of living, having commentary on what I am doing wrong. That free spirited person within me, thisĀ  person suffered a whole lot of arguing against her. The arguing person isĀ  known asĀ  the inner critic. I call it theĀ  inner bully, in my caseĀ  it is. The inner bully I know is a mental representativeĀ  of myĀ  mother who argued against me a wholeĀ  lot, tellingĀ  meĀ  how I was wrong.. when I wasĀ  not.

    Is this true in your case as well, the person within you arguing being theĀ  mental rep of a person or personsĀ  in your life as a child?

    anita

    November 16, 2018 at 10:21 am #238023
    Julissa
    Participant

    Wow Anita, t’s funny you say that because I would say my inner critic is my father. My negative side is VERY much like him. My dad has a huge heart but he can be a big baby when it comes to emotions. He’s very controlling, manipulative and likes to guilt trip. I guess it makes sense being that I grew up from that.

    Question though, how are you able to balance it? Do you talk to your inner critic to calm the voices and emotions down?

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by Julissa.
    November 16, 2018 at 10:41 am #238029
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Julissa:

    Yes, I talkĀ  sense to myself following the inner critic giving me its input.Ā  It so happens that my inner critic makes no sense. Problem is the inner critic is not only a voice, or a dry thought, it is also emotion andĀ  the emotion is convincing, so even though often the thoughtĀ  makes no sense, itĀ  feels true nonetheless.

    The inner critic, the mental representativeĀ  of our critical parent,Ā  is a combination of thought andĀ  emotion, andĀ  soĀ  itĀ  is difficult to tackle. You can give me an example of a thought+emotion provided by your inner critic and take Ā  itĀ  from there.

    anita

    November 16, 2018 at 6:24 pm #238119
    Selkie
    Participant

    I feel for you Julissa. I’ve been on that rollercoaster too! I know you feel like therapy wasn’t helping, but the right therapist can be a godsend. I didn’t find the right one until my third try and it was totally worth it. But aside from therapy, it might help to find an activity that distracts you from your emotions temporarily- so you can deal with them later. And when you deal with them later, they may actually not feel as intense as before. Like a physical activity- going to yoga really helped me. Or learning a language- another activity that helps, because you’re so focused on rules and pronunciation and ‘left brain’ stuff that the right emotional brain can rest for a bit. Duolingo is a really fun way to learn, if you’re interested in that. Meditation is another activity that works, though for me, mantra meditation has always worked better than silent meditation.

    And as for forgetting meds, can you use a timer as a reminder, or ask friend/family members to remind you? Who knows, maybe another type of medication would work better if you wanted to look into that. Hope this helps.

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