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Two people arguing within me

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  • November 16, 2018 at 7:47 am #237133
    Julissa
    Participant

    Hello All,

    For years I have suffered mood swings and anxiety since I was 16 (I am 26 now). This year has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. From relationships to friendships, my mood swings have taken a toll on me. I have been on lexapro (10 mg) for about a year now. It has helped me however I am at fault for forgetting to take my med sometimes and it throws my emotions off balance.

    I literally feel for such a tiny person, that there are two people within me constantly at odds with one another. There’s one person within me that’s this free spirited, go with the flow personality and another person within me that’s this negative, drama, jealous, territorial personality. It’s not who I am meant and want to be. I’m finding the struggle between balancing or just completely eliminating the negative person within me. My mind will not be quiet. I am constantly talking to myself, in my mind, everyday trying to self reflect how I feel. I have gone to therapy for a year now but recently stopped since I felt like it wasn’t helping me progress. Does anyone else feel like this?

    Also, I strongly believe in astrology and even though it’s a common trait for Geminis, I won’t sit here and blame it on the stars. This is a personal disorder I’ve been living with and I want to better myself for myself and for others around me.

    Thank you for reading! Your advice is greatly appreciated.

    November 16, 2018 at 9:54 am #238007
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Julissa:

    I still  have a person inside me arguing, raining on my parade of living, having commentary on what I am doing wrong. That free spirited person within me, this  person suffered a whole lot of arguing against her. The arguing person is  known as  the inner critic. I call it the  inner bully, in my case  it is. The inner bully I know is a mental representative  of my  mother who argued against me a whole  lot, telling  me  how I was wrong.. when I was  not.

    Is this true in your case as well, the person within you arguing being the  mental rep of a person or persons  in your life as a child?

    anita

    November 16, 2018 at 10:21 am #238023
    Julissa
    Participant

    Wow Anita, t’s funny you say that because I would say my inner critic is my father. My negative side is VERY much like him. My dad has a huge heart but he can be a big baby when it comes to emotions. He’s very controlling, manipulative and likes to guilt trip. I guess it makes sense being that I grew up from that.

    Question though, how are you able to balance it? Do you talk to your inner critic to calm the voices and emotions down?

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by Julissa.
    November 16, 2018 at 10:41 am #238029
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Julissa:

    Yes, I talk  sense to myself following the inner critic giving me its input.  It so happens that my inner critic makes no sense. Problem is the inner critic is not only a voice, or a dry thought, it is also emotion and  the emotion is convincing, so even though often the thought  makes no sense, it  feels true nonetheless.

    The inner critic, the mental representative  of our critical parent,  is a combination of thought and  emotion, and  so  it  is difficult to tackle. You can give me an example of a thought+emotion provided by your inner critic and take   it  from there.

    anita

    November 16, 2018 at 6:24 pm #238119
    Selkie
    Participant

    I feel for you Julissa. I’ve been on that rollercoaster too! I know you feel like therapy wasn’t helping, but the right therapist can be a godsend. I didn’t find the right one until my third try and it was totally worth it. But aside from therapy, it might help to find an activity that distracts you from your emotions temporarily- so you can deal with them later. And when you deal with them later, they may actually not feel as intense as before. Like a physical activity- going to yoga really helped me. Or learning a language- another activity that helps, because you’re so focused on rules and pronunciation and ‘left brain’ stuff that the right emotional brain can rest for a bit. Duolingo is a really fun way to learn, if you’re interested in that. Meditation is another activity that works, though for me, mantra meditation has always worked better than silent meditation.

    And as for forgetting meds, can you use a timer as a reminder, or ask friend/family members to remind you? Who knows, maybe another type of medication would work better if you wanted to look into that. Hope this helps.

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