Hello,

I am a young woman in my early 20-s and my boyfriend and I are trying to make our relationship work from the distance (He lives across the Atlantic Ocean). Everything is going good, we see each other 3-4 times a year which is not much and of course from time to time it’s hard but I can really feel that this is what I want to work for and it’s going to be worth it when we can be together again in the long run. And I can feel that from his side as well.

What my problem is though, is that I tend to imagine what he might think/want (things he doesn’t talk about) and I become insecure because of that. We are both adventurous and outgoing people and have hobbies and friends on our own. But as we are both students, most (if not all) our savings are used for the plane tickets etc to see each other. Sometimes I get thoughts like “What if he acutally wants to go somewhere on his own? Or travel with his friends instead of spending everything on seeing me?”. He has never expressed that but what if he’s just afraid to hurt me? What if one day he will tell me that “Hey, I never got to do crazy things in my youth and I want to do it now”? Should I even think about things like that? Should I consider talking about it with him or would it make him feel that I am the one in doubt?

A friend of mine has told me that the most important thing in a relationship is doing what you can from your side and not trying to influence/change the partner because in the end he/she will do what seems right for them anyway. So based on that I shouldn’t imagine possible scenarios in his head but try to do what I can to be a good girlfriend from the distance?

I hope there are some little Buddhas here who can relate to my feelings 🙂