Hi Chelsea…I hope that when you read this the answers that you are looking for are becoming more clear. I also hope that you are embraced with the peace and love that life has to offer. Having your mind at ease, clear, as you struggle through this, is a better place to be, even though the circumstances make it very difficult. I am truly sorry form you having to sort this out.

A few questions come to mind…How long have you been dating him? How did you 2 meet?

I too have learned the hard way with what you are going through and when that trust is breached it is very difficult, at least for me, to trust that person. With me, if I was in a relationship and my trust in who I was dating was broken, for whatever reason, then I find myself entertaining the question, why go any further. I could easily say, ok well let’s move forward, but that suspicion would always linger. Not a good place to be. I have adopted the saying, first time a victim second time a volunteer.

I sense that some people are playing you. I hope that you would consider perhaps meeting not only the b/f but the girl in question to confront them. The response would be very interesting, especially if both he and the “other girl”  declined the offer. I have to think on this a bit more because I don’t think what I offered was very solid. Let me think on this and I promise I’ll get back to you. In the mean time stay the way you are-strong.

Pearce

Hi Chelsea,

Have you ever heard the term “too many cooks in the kitchen, spoils the pot” (or something, like that). This is what is happening in your case. There are too many people, making too much confusion. You said you have had “trust issues” in the past which does not help matters, but you can’t let your past ruin your future.

This man may be telling you the truth. There is no lack of evidence he is not. It’s all pettyness, texting, “he said, she said” on the part of your friends and not him. They may be jealous because you have a boyfriend, or they just like to create drama and trouble.

You need to take out the “trash” for awhile, while you are in a new relationship with this man. That means, Try to just be with him, and not get sucked in by all this “she tested so and so, he said, He didn’t, she said this” it creates needless conflict on the relationship, because it’s just words and not based on fact. Try to not be around them for awhile when you are with this man. Just focus on him..not on drama, fair weather friends, petty stuff, etc. Instead of always texting or e-mailing, call him on the phone. Don’t talk to the gossipers about him. If you have to be with him, don’t talk about him. You will find better communication and a healthier relationship with him, by throwing out the trash for a little bit, and just focusing on you and him. Keep us posted.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by Eliana.

Hi Chelsea,

Just listen to your heart and your gut. Try not to let anxiety, doubt, friends, the past cloud your judgement. Just concentrate on this man, not on heresay and gossip. Even our best friends can accidentally be inaccurate. Keep us posted.