Hey Anonymous person

So I kinda had that problem, too…
I had a hard time expressing my feelings and thoughts because I was afraid of being misunderstood and not liked.
So i didn’t talk much because I thought that people wouldn’t understand. But it was mainly because I was afraid of being judged. Judged by every little word that touched my lips. And I was waiting for someone to see me, someone who wouldn’t care what I said because they understood how I meant it. It took me about three years to realize that the person I was looking for I could find in most people. That people who didn’t know me didn’t hate me. that it’s not personal, that it doesn’t matter if someone doesn’t like what I say, because people disagree and it doesn’t mean I should stop talking, because I can talk as much as it pleases me and I won’t ever shut my mouth again just because people don’t like what I’m saying.
Most importantly I learned to follow my intuition. It’s seldomly wrong. Sure sometimes we should think about what we are going to say but most of the time what comes to mind is what’s most truthful at the moment.
So my advice is: try actively listening to your intuition. Try to acknowledge your feelings.

Sometimes we get confused because we don’t know how we’re supposed to feel about something. The truth is, you’re not supposed to feel anything in particular. Whatever you’re feeling at the moment is right.

If you start doing that, listening to yourself, how you feel about stuff, truly, not how you want to feel, You start being honest with yourself.

If you’re honest with yourself and your intentions are good, there’s nothing you can do or say that is wrong. Because you just do the best you can. Do you see that?

It was a life changing insight for me, that led to a complete change of perspective and an improvement in my social life that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

If you don’t know how to connect to your feelings, try meditation. Kinda worked for me.

So that was my experience and my solution in a short version.. If you want to know more just ask, hope I could help you a little 🙂

For most of my life I struggled with communication. Without getting too deep into my life story (haha) I’ll just cut to the chase and give you some advice.
Write it down (or type it up). Read it out loud. Delete it (throw it out). This process is so therapeutic because it helps me sort through the garbage my ego creates. So then I can find the accurate words and phrases I need to express myself.

Be kind to yourself when and if you clam up during a stressful conversation. Take a few deep breaths and use body language to express to the other person that you are indeed listening to what they’re saying. I find that a lot of the time people don’t actually care if your engaged in the conversation. They just want to feel like they’re being heard. If they are giving you a hard time about not being ‘engaged’ in the conversation just tell them that you’re much better at listening. Don’t consider your lack of verbal sharing a bad thing.

Instead of telling yourself “I am bad at communication” tell yourself “I am a great listener”.

On a final note, people are going to say some pretty crappy things to you throughout your life. You have to let it slide off your shoulders. When that dude told you that “nothing you say holds any weight” it really hurt you. Who you are and what his perspective of you are two different things. (As is the truth with every person on this planet) His opinions or views of you have nothing to do with you because it’s just part of the story that he tells himself everyday. You are only a secondary character in his life and visa versa. You don’t have to make his words your truth. You make your own truth.

Bottom line and my most favorite piece of advice: Be nice to yourself. Talk to yourself like you would your best friend. Once you do that, so many more positive changes happen inside of you.
(I highly recommend reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.)