Home→Forums→Tough Times→Trouble practicing mindfulness
- This topic has 8 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 2 months ago by mahesh.
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September 6, 2016 at 7:37 pm #114433maheshParticipant
I have been suffering from anxiety due to intrusive thoughts since I was 18 years old(2008). I was overwhelmed initially and couldn’t figure out what was happening to me.Till 23(2013) I had no clue why I was thinking like that,why I felt so anxious.I joined college in 2009,only to take a pause in between the course for two years (2012-2014).In between those two years,I fell in love with a girl.Initially the relationship was mired due to my anxiety about the relationship(mostly relationship OCD types),but gradually I started exploring Internet to find the answer to my questions.I found tinybuddha and it helped a lot.I learnt mindfulness and within 1 year..(by 2013) I was a completely different person.Much more positive and happy.I rejoined my college in 2014 and successfully completed the course in 2015.One word to describe my life between 2013-2015 is bliss.but since then,it’s again been a downward spiral.Gf cheated on me and we broke up this March.I have been practicing mindfulness since last 3 years,but couldn’t able to achieve the fruits as I did initially.I have trouble sleeping g these days…I am worried that ,I had experienced bliss and total mindfulness in my life once,then why am I not able to do so now..why it’s getting difficult to practice mindfulness technique now..pls help
September 6, 2016 at 7:52 pm #114435AnonymousGuestDear Mahesh:
How did you practice mindfulness in the past, specifically?
And what happens when you practice the same currently?
anita
September 6, 2016 at 10:39 pm #114444maheshParticipantI used to observe my thoughts as they come through.Focus my attention to present ,like body sensations, sounds etc!!Breathing exercise too.Previously it didn’t felt like an effort,but now I get distracted sometimes while performing these mindful exercises.Feeling sbodily sensations still calm my mind,but problem as of late has been with thought observations… I feel sometimes that I am forcing myself do this, and it becomes counterproductive.Overall my condition now is much better than it used to be 4-5 years back,but not as good as it was 2 yrs back.I can’t describe how free I felt when I realised the power of mindfulness.I have become apprehensive that I wouldn’t be able to master that exercise again..:(
September 7, 2016 at 4:53 am #114458AnonymousInactiveHi mahesh,
Your experiences in meditation aren’t separate from your experiences in your life in general. If you’re going through a difficult period, your meditations may not feel so great either. It’s still worth doing them though. Continue to try, continue to start again, even if it is difficult.
I don’t think mindfulness is about mastering the exercise, it’s about doing it no matter what comes up, staying with it and not letting the storms of life shake you up.
September 7, 2016 at 8:23 am #114471AnonymousGuestDear Mahesh:
Reads to me that you are attached to how good it used to feel and you desperately want that feeling back. Mindfulness is about calmly accepting whatever it is you feel: not in comparison to how you felt before, but in it by itself. It is about not focusing on how you wish you felt, how you want to feel, but how you currently feel.
If you can free your mind from comparing and the yearning to feel like before, then you will be okay with how you feel. I hope you practice this acceptance, a non-judgmental/ non-comparing acceptance of what you feel at any time.
anita
September 10, 2016 at 12:24 am #114807maheshParticipant@Anita….Thank you so much…I too realised after reading your post and practiced meditation without thinking how I felt in last,and I felt relieved!!!!
@monklet80 Yess I too feel the same,I have to continue and stop comparing how I felt earlierSeptember 10, 2016 at 8:26 am #114829AnonymousGuestYou are welcome, Mahesh. Do post anytime.
anitaSeptember 10, 2016 at 5:33 pm #114856Hi beautiful person so proud of you! You keep growingnand learning and LOOK HOW FAR YOU CAME, you arment letting bad experiences define you , good. Learning from them and letting go and using the information you learned can help others too and you make mistakes to learn next time and its beautiful! its alright these things all happened for a reason so proud of you look at you you are a more positive joyful person that can help others, remind yourself of how far you hage come and dont compare remember we all are diferent and all have something unique to bring to earth keep focusing on your happiness living your life mindfulness helping others and creating the life you love, wish you all the best in life, keep inspiring being your great self and you keep growing and learning you always hage the qbility to be happy. Dont wish for what used to be because now yoy have more and learned more best of luck in life HOORAY SO EXCITING, good luck to you Mahesh!
September 11, 2016 at 12:54 am #114907maheshParticipantThank you for your inspiring words!!!!:)
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