This is in response to my earlier post about being bothered by someones judgement. I’ve been with my bf for over 10 years now, we are high school sweethearts and we have a little one together. My bfs family’s first grandchild. From the beginning I always felt disliked by his family. In particular his mom she would say things like to me like why doesn’t my son like this girl or this person, what does he see in you. Or when they moved she said to me I thought my son would find someone else but he stayed with you. All these comments she makes in stayed quiet because in didn’t know what to say and I didn’t want to be rude. When I became pregnant and I told them she said I feel sick to my stomach and she’s dissapointed that I’m having a boy and not a girl. When I was 6 to seven months along she said you know I feel a connection with my grandchild but i don’t feel one with you. We had several disagreements but these two stands out to me my bfs mom said only my son and my grandson is my blood you are another’s man’s daughter which is true. But those words cut deep because I felt like she was letting me know exactly where I stand. The other was when my son was about 4 months her daughter went to pick him up and she accidentally bumped his end on the end of the couch he started to cry I was in the other room I heard the bump but didn’t see what happend so I asked them and they said it was an accident which is fine shit happens. So later that day I noticed the daughter avoiding my son like what happened earlier scared her so she stayed away from him. I spoke to her and gave her a hug and said it’s ok what happend earlier it’s an accident and no one is upset at you so don’t feel any kind of way. A few weeks passed and she still was avoiding him so finally the mom said i don’t want her holding him and she said it was based on what happened and I told the mom I told her it was an accident and its ok. She asked her daughter if this was true and her daughter said no I never spoke to her. I was crushed. So in return she said she will be the judge as to when her daughter will hold my son again I said ok. She also holds me accountable in which words i choose when I speak to her. So i have to be very careful when I’m expressing my opinions and the words that I use. She looks down on me because my teeth is not straight she asked me why my parents never got that taken care of. Im not confrontation and i would rather just not and stay quiet. Now when it comes to my son I have no problem with him spending time by grandma or her treating him to whatever when he goes there I ask no questions, I trust her and I know it’s important for her to have that bond with him. I’m also lucky them in my life as they love and accept my son. Im jumping all over the place here im sorry. Granted I was very young when I met him I was 14 and he was 17. I’ve only been with him he was my first everything. So at 14 I didn’t know who I was I’m still learning about myself and o felt judged and still do. We have some bad blood between us. I understand now that we may never have a close relationship and I accept that, but even when I try to distance myself from them I still end up being like the bad guy. When my son was born we lived with my in laws for a while and they helped tremendously which I’m so greatful I repeatedly told them thank you for everything they did. But I feel like she doesn’t see me as capable of raising my son with comments like I need to live near by grandson to be sure he’s raised right. Or her saying that I’ll keep him away from them which I one thing I will never do and hurts that she thinks I’m like that. I’ve never denied my son from seeing them or speaking to them over the phone so why would she feel that way? When I call them because my son askes to speak to them they won’t answer the phone or call back. And when they do call back days later I’ll say to them hey I called a few days ago they’ll say I dunno what happened. I feel uncomfortable like she’s pretending to like me just to put up with me because her son chose me. Till this day she says to me she doesnt see her son staying with me. When we first met she said this 10 years later shes still saying it. I do not discuss this with my bf and im not going to i do not want to cause problems between them. This is her only son and she has 3 daughters. Before I use to share things with her I would open up to her just so we can form some sort of connection but it didn’t work so I stopped sharing things with her and I choose to stay to myself. Im not close with my family i dont have a close realtionship with my mom and it was something i seeked in my bfs mom because i found her to be so loving and caring. I admire her dispite our misunderstanding. And I want her to have a relationship with her son and grandson even if we don’t a bond I have accept that. I never know what to expect from her or what are the right words to say when she askes me questions. I feel so alone. Help how do I deal with her?