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Toxic Family- leaving my stomach in knots

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  • #380439
    Sarah Jeanne Browne
    Participant

    So, if they are bringing you down and affecting your mental health, then put in place healthy boundaries or walk away. I would separate myself as much as possible from people who emotionally abused me like they are of you. Even though it’s family, it’s okay to do your own thing. You can pull from other support like friends or a support group or therapy. You don’t have to take the abuse. You are good enough; you are worth it; you deserve better.

    #380440
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear windycitycoco:

    “I feel like I have a duty to myself first and foremost, to take care of myself?”- yes, it is your duty and please do take care of yourself. Your absent father walked away from his duty to be present for you way before he passed away, so did your mother, and your sisters walked away from you when they abused you- time that you walk away from your sisters and no longer avail yourself to their abuse.

    anita

    #380464
    Jane
    Participant

    As someone who is also dealing with a difficult family situation, I feel for you. One thing that I ask myself in a search for clarity with these types of relationships is what I would tell a friend or loved one who was in a similar situation. I’d definitely tell my loved one to protect herself by setting boundaries. If it seems that one or more sisters is self-aware enough to stop bullying you, you might tell her that you will see her as long as she does not say cruel things. I would make it clear that any hurtful words or actions will result in your walking away. You do need to protect yourself.

    #380648
    Canuck
    Participant

    The way I see it, family is overrated.  Just because we’re bound as such, does not mean we have to take shit.  As one does with friends, limit the time you spend together and/or cut out all contact.  Don’t be afraid to do this – its to your benefit and does not make you a bad person whatsoever.  We let friends go; we should also let family go!

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