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Tough times in China

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  • June 16, 2015 at 9:21 am #78328
    Yaya
    Participant

    Sometimes life in a new country is tough! I live in China and overall have been adapting well. But sometimes I get the feeling that I am not respected. Like for example, at the market when people queue up sometimes Chinese people just jump in front of me like I don´t exist! This is usually people over 35 that do this. I keep thinking that it is cultural. Younger people seem quite nice. But people over 35 or 40 are usely quite rude.

    Anyway, today I was walking on the the far side of the sidewalk, close to the garden side. I was walking straight. An older woman (50´s) was walking in the middle of the sidewalk and then veered toward my path on the side. Why? Maybe because of the shade from the trees? I couldn´t go anywhere because, as I said, I was close to the garden side and I wasn´t going to stop or walk on the plants. I kept my pace, firm and steady. She veered out of the way at the last minute, but a little too late. We bumped bags…as I kept my pace I was firm and we bumped hard. I didn´t turn back. The worst thing is that the sidewalk was nearly empty at this time of day. Why did she do this? Was it the shade from the trees? Or did she believe that a foreigner had less of a right to be walking there? I think the latter. She probably would have moved out of the way for a Chinese woman. Why not me?

    Argghhh! I don´t like feeling like this. I have adapted to life in other countries before, but I hate feeling like a second class citizen. I am in China working as a professional. I deserve respect!

    Please tell me what you think! I am open to opinions and constructive criticism.

    June 16, 2015 at 9:52 am #78330
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear little-sparrow:
    You wrote that you are a professional and deserve respect. I think you deserve respect regardless of being a professional or a skilled worker or any person at all, Chinese or not. I hope that you show respect to others regardless of whether he/ she is Chinese or not, professional or not. Do you? If you show more respect to a person who holds a professional job than you do to a person who sweeps the streets- than you are guilty of the same thing you are complaining about. Focus on your behavior and correct it- you do have control over that. Then worry about others’ and figure out if and what you can do about that…
    anita

    June 16, 2015 at 8:40 pm #78360
    Yaya
    Participant

    What I meant by “I am a professional” is that I am in China doing a job and helping people. I am here legally. I dress professionally. I have a right to be here as I contribute to society. I don´t judge people by their profession. I guess I just mean, I have a right to be here. I feel sometimes “pushed aside”, as if I don´t have a right to be here.

    June 17, 2015 at 8:25 am #78381
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear little-sparrow:
    So you think that maybe older people in China that you come across have been disrespecting you because they think that you are in China illegally? And/ or because they may think you are there without a job or doing a dob that is not helping people? Maybe. It is likely in my mind, if you observe that those people act differently with Chinese people/ their peers of national origin- that they disrespect you because you are not Chinese. That may be the only reason. Maybe the younger people are more tolerant of non-Chinese because they have a wider persepective in some ways because of television, movies, internet, a wider experience with people of other nationalities and a greater acceptance of differences.

    In that case, it would be irrelevant how you are dressed and what job you do, or not do- you may be of the “wrong” nationality/ genetics. Then there is nothing at all you can do to change their behavior, only the way you deal with it, not taking it personally.

    If it is too distressing, maybe do what you can to leave China.

    Or maybe you can ask one of the younger people there:what is the deal with the older folks and look for advice as to how to deal with it..Maybe you can learn something in Chinese that you can say when disrespected- something that at least will make you feel better for standing up to yourself?
    anita

    June 17, 2015 at 8:38 am #78383
    Marleen
    Participant

    I live in Dubai and people are rude here ! Hang in there I am from California don’t take so personally life is to short to be mad or upset . Brush it off and know you’re respected !

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