Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Tough parents
- This topic has 7 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 11 months ago by Shruti.
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November 25, 2018 at 5:51 am #248417AnonymousInactive
I’m 17 and my parents are way too tough and abusive. The legit interfere in eveything i do and keep commenting about it and give unwanted suggestions telling that my choices are bad and have to change my character. They interfere when it comes to dressing up or my music preferences. Apart from this, they put me down and scold me in front of my teachers and friends. My dad is embarassingly boastful that I cant even go along with him outside or introduce him to my friends. He thinks that everything around him should go according to his words. Whenever I oppose to his ideas he gets really angry and hits me with a steel hanger or also kicks me. He never wants to see me being independent and does not encourage me to do what i love. He judges me and puts me down whenever i excel in something and blackmails me that he would not allow me to take up my preferred subjects for my graduation. I live in India, where the society is patriarchal, thus is totally against me and my parents are way too conservative and hate me expolring me things in life and they want me to do ONLY what they say. If not, i have to undergo verbal and physical abuse and im tired of it. I am going through this for the past 5 years and i tried talking to them and i miserably failed. My mom too is super abusive and never stands on my side. I go through abuse and i have no one to talk abou this. Since my grades are usually low and are dropping recently because i cant take up this stress and cant talk to anyone i am venting this out here. Please help. Even this text i am sending here is secretive that i have to delete my history. They are very doubtful and always check whatever i am doing. They hate me so much that they asked me to go die. I gave up on suicidal thoughts because i want to become a better person and take my revenge when i am financially stable, since that i am not for now, i am being quiet. Please help me. I am depressed.
November 25, 2018 at 6:39 am #248429AnonymousGuestDear vaishu:
I wish this was not your reality, your father hitting you with a steel hanger and kicking you, as well as verbally abusing you, and your mother being “super abusive”-
How is your mother being super abusive?
anita
November 25, 2018 at 8:37 am #248455SelkieParticipantI’m very sorry. I’ve been in and out of India my whole life, so I know what you’re talking about -although sadly, patriarchy and abuse is not limited to just Indian society!
Do you have friends at school that you are close to? What about relatives? I know you might not want to tell them about the abuse, but would it be possible for you to spend more time with relatives and work and do activities at their house? Only so you’re not around your parents that much. What are your plans after graduation? Is there anything that you really want to do, and can you try to put your mind on that?
I found a link for this organization- it’s in India- and I think they have a lot of counsellors you can talk to for free.
November 26, 2018 at 7:43 am #248603AnonymousInactiveThanks a lot, Selkie
I am planning to do a major in linguistics. Also, thank you so mich the link for the instagram feed. It is really inspirational. Also, I tried talkkng to my friends about it. All they can do is console me, right? They do their best for their part.
Also, my relatives aren’t that close to me. So yeah. As of now, i just make sure i have minimum contact with my parents.
I do some calligraphy in my free time. Again, I have to hide it from my parents.
Once again,
Really thanks for your concern.
This made me smile.
November 26, 2018 at 7:44 am #248605AnonymousInactiveThank you very much for your lovely support, Anita! This means a lot to me 🙂
November 26, 2018 at 9:11 am #248619AnonymousGuestYou are welcome, vaishu. post anytime you’d like.
anita
November 27, 2018 at 7:21 pm #261519ShrutiParticipantDear Vaishu,
I read your post and it saddened me. I grew up in India as well but was blessed with wonderful family. However I can understand your situation as it is a norm in some families in India. As much as it feels that this is a hard and difficult situation for you, you have to remember that you cannot let it shape the rest of your life. From your post, I can see that you are a very intelligent, smart and an enterprising young woman. Even though I don’t know you, I can see that you are already a strong and an independent girl. Please don’t let these hardships shape the rest of your life. I really do hope you believe in God and the power of positive thoughts and the consequences of our past karmas. I am sending you blessings and positive energy beta. May God give you the strength to go thru this phase and hope a beautiful wonderful life is awaiting you as you grow older.
Perhaps this can help you stay strong. It has helped me a lot.
November 28, 2018 at 5:57 pm #266529ShrutiParticipantVaishu beta , if you know Hindi, please watch this video in it’s entirety. How you can develop ‘insulation’ against pain…this may help. Stay strong and be good. God bless you??
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