Hi all,

I am currently in my final year of an undergraduate degree at university and have recently started to suffer from growing anxiety about my final grade, which I will receive this summer. After my first two years of uni, I am on the border between a good grade (a 2.1) and a very good grade (a 1st). This year is the decider. I will only ever need a 2.1 in life; most people achieve this grade and it is a perfectly respectable result. However, for some reason, the idea that I might not get a 1st tortures me! I know I can only ever do my best, and that a 2.1 is all I need to go onto the next stage in my career development, and I also know that I have been going through some extremely difficult times throughout university and should be proud that I have got to third year at all… but I just can’t stop feelings of anxiety building about my grade.

I have seen in so many articles online that one of the root causes of suffering is the constant desire for more, and the inability to be happy with what one has. But I just can’t seem to listen to my own rational thoughts, and don’t know why I feel so strongly about this issue. I think it is linked to the fact that I have very few friends, and therefore no support network, and have not felt loved or appreciated by my parents for a number of years. I also have a boyfriend who is utterly obsessed with getting a 1st this year in his degree, and can’t even bear to think about getting a 2.1, and my closest friend at university is similarly grade-obsessed. I think these attitudes have rubbed off on me; if they think getting a 2.1 isn’t good enough, then what will they think of me if I get a 2.1? I fear I’ll be seen as unintelligent or inferior in some way. (This feeling of inferiority has been a continuing theme this year, actually; for some reason, I constantly automatically believe that others are ‘better’ than me in some way, are more confident, funny, intelligent or talented than me.)

Does anyone have any advice concerning how I can simply be content with whatever I end up with? Thank you so much for reading! 🙂