Dear Sophie:

I read your posts over the last few years and my feel is that your boyfriend is very fortunate to have you as his girlfriend and to soon be moving in with you. I feel/ think this way because you are very aware of your own behavior, quick to examine your behavior and figure how to correct it. (He would have been unfortunate if you were one of the many people who are quick to blame others and to not examine themselves).

He is also fortunate to have a girlfriend who is reasonable, sensible, logical. You have a history of anxiety and you may be too needy at times but you are generally turn to logic and let logic guide you.

You asked what techniques you can employ to be less needy: to act less needy, that is, to not complain to him about his no texting/calling policy when out with friends (a policy you agree with, logically), focus on your behavior, that is, regardless of how you feel, do not text or call him while he is out and do not complain to him when he is back from his outing. To feel better, re-read your own original post here. Re- read this sentence: “He’s very committed to our relationship and I have no doubt that he loves me as much as I love him”, and this one: “I trust him completely”. Repeat these sentences to yourself and relax into them. Take deep breaths and take in your own words slowly.

If you want to examine the issue further, you can list the thoughts you have when anxious, the thoughts that go with your anxiety. You can do so in your next post, if you wish. I will reply then.

anita