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  • #48788
    Jan
    Participant

    once again..this feeling wasn’t gone..
    me and him couple for 3 years,we have been staying together for 2 years..
    these years..v have been go through so many things..
    he got a past 7 years relationship, and plan to get married, but it doesn’t work..
    after that, v meet..and v start to begin..
    he is a weird person..sometimes he treat me like a girlfriend, but sometimes I feel like v are just a stranger
    we come from a very different background, his has a very poor family background, and the financial support is very bad
    we are different race and yet different religion..
    I try to be with him..i try my best to live with him..even my family was not really support this relationship
    once and once..he find some reason to get away from me.
    he never say that he will break up with me..
    but he is prepare himself to get chance to another women..
    he never thought that I would know what happen behind of the scene..
    I control myself. But it hurts me so much..
    I try to go for gym everyday, try to go out with friends until the midnight, try to make myself busy..
    and when both of us in the room, we have nothing to talk..
    and this has been happen for few month..
    I made a decision to move out from the room..
    I thought that this may help me to see more deeply about him..
    now we apart from each other..
    and our relationship does not getting better, and he still contact with another girls like nothing happen
    I call up him and request for a end.. along 20 min ..he never talk for 5 min..
    I m very tired.. and I know that I love him too much..i just feel like I m the fool
    please..help me out..i feel like I m losing hopes and I cant get myself clear to do things..

    #48824
    Matt
    Participant

    Jan,

    I’m sorry for your suffering, and hope you can find some relief soon. It was a little difficult to get a sense of your situation, but I’ll do my best. It sounds like you’re experiencing grief. If he seems to be done, gone… try to let him go. Its tough, and usually painful, but its also healing.

    My teacher said when we are grieving, letting go, saying goodbye… its a big event for us, for our bodies to go through. So we need to make space, let ourselves go through it. Self nurturing activities are great at helping make that space. Consider taking a bath with candles, listening to soft music, surrounding yourself with nature or art… whatever helps you relax, unwind and feel connected. If an emotion comes up, just cry, scream, jump up and down, shake your fists…or whatever feels right. Then breathe, and let it go as best you can… relax, unwind.

    Also, consider taking up a metta meditation practice. Metta is the feeling of loving friendship that arises in the chest, and goes a long way to help us find inner peace. Consider seaching YouTube for “guided metta meditation” if interested.

    With warmth,
    Matt

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