Bri,

Its a classic situation where your heart does not want to accept what your mind knows. You have a bond with this person, and have shared life experiences over a long time. You found some value of this person in your life. However, you find yourself in a situation where perhaps this person has changed and is no longer being a healthy member of your life. Your decision to cut it off should not be one you are ashamed of. Ultimately you have to do what it is you need to for yourself. Im a big fan of mending fences and being good neighbors. However, you can not make someone want to do the work it takes to fix things or bridge gaps that have developed. It seems like she has chosen her path in life. She accepts no personal responsibility for her behavior, it being alcohol or drug induced. When the choice to get drunk or high was also hers. If you are seeking to get clean from the influence of drugs and alcohol. Your road to recovery is going to need to be one filled with clean and supportive people. Not enablers or people who will entice you back into that life.

I know its hard to give up on a long term friendship, however try to look at it like this. You are not making the choice to no longer be her friend, she is making a choice to not respect your boundaries so that she can continue to be yours. All you can do is communicate, be upfront with what you expect and give someone an opportunity to honor their responsibilities to you. What they do with it is on them. As you make new friends and ones that can fill the void left by her, what you are feeling will go away. I would encourage you to get out and meet new people who live healthier more well balanced lifestyles. Best of luck.

-Chad

Hello Bri,

I encourage you to trust the decision you made and to terminate this friendship once and for all. It sounds like to me you have already given her a 2nd chance, and if that was wasted, then it’s time to move on. The universe is designed in such a way that you attract certain people into your life fairly easily, while others will come and go.

Ultimately, you made this decision to cut her out of your life because you are looking for less drama, more happiness, and one less thing to worry about. These sound like good reasons to me to leave her behind, you have to look out for yourself. You are listening to your instinct on this, and 9 times out of 10 your instinct is usually right.

Best of luck