Hi iamtheauthor,
Seeing another woman while still married and living with you is a betrayal of trust. My view is that to re-establish trust it must be earned back. What assurances has he made so that he won’t do this again? Words alone are empty. What specific actions has he done or promised to do to earn back your trust and his willingness to work on the marriage?

It is good that you are going through an examination what you really want in your marriage and with your life with your husband. I believe that for any relationship we need to know ourselves first, what our core values are. You may want to sit down and write out what those values are, what you want for your life. It helps when you actually do this and see it in black and white.

You have mentioned that you two have “so many issues” and how you have work around him (e.g. the Peter Pan syndrome) in order to have a relationship with him. I go by what the right reasons for my actions and thoughts. I use the question, “Am I coming from Love or from Fear?” I look at loving myself first. That is the standard on how I make my decisions.

Metta,
Mark