Hi Anita,

I understand and respect your clarification a lot, I have have one here too, first; I believe that there are not 2 persons on earth who can be similar in every aspect, who can agree with each other all the way, and even if you think you found that person someday you will find that thing that annoys you about him, and it is up to you to decide if you accept it or not, second; it is from our differences and disagreements that we learn, how would be like know if 100 years ago humankind just agreed on every thing and just enjoyed themselves, it is from our difference that we drew our strength and I think am outing Obama here!?

It was that post when that guy asked who would you preference to be the victim or the driver in a car accident, and here am using my memory, I just could not find that post again, they are too much, and correct me if I misunderstood. You mentioned that you would prefer that this victim would dye if he was a child abuser, and this just did not feel right for me, in my opinion no one deserves to die for a mistake he made, first; you denayal that person the chance of Redeeming himself, imagin if that abuser that had died would some day relise what he did wrong and just said sorry for the one he abused and asked for forgiveness, even if that abused child did not accept it, at least he will learn that there is a path for forgiveness, and what might that had brought to his life! Second; I believe that someone should deserve the punishment of death if and only if , he intentionally planned to kill some one and killed him, and that’s not just for the sake of punishment to be equal as the wrong made, but only to raise the meaning of life and the value of humankind. I hope I had put it right here?! and I add here, that my statement then was kinda provocative to see if you would accept if a disagreed with you, and for you to keep talking, and please pardon me I just sometime cannot resist mind games 😉

I totally disagree, they are different, I agree that anger could turn to hate but that is only if you do not deal with your anger, that’s my opinion, I thought of sending you a link describing the diference between but you can just search google for hate vs anger, and here I quote the first line I just saw, and believe me I did not search it before ever, – hate and anger may seem to appear similar but actually they are not-
I think deep anger is not enough for hate coz hate and love are related to desire, and anger is just a state of mind tolerance for stress!

You can check it and tell what you think, and if you feel it, you can make a new post called hate vs anger, we could have a fruitful debate about it here?!

Again I would like to say that I enjoy our discussion and looking forward for more.

cya,

Hi Anita,

Am too here feeling relief, I just made a new post specially for you called how does your mind work? In it I explain how I imagin my mind work, may be if you read it you can understand me better, and please share the same with me.

Am sorry if I presumed that, about no body deserve to die, it just feels that you are being hard on your self, I have no right to say it, but I feel compelled to. Please bare with me here, you were presented with adioema, of choosing one of the two worse out comes, it is either living with physical trauma from being hit by a car, or the emotional trauma of hitting some one by the car. It’s like comparing between being physically paralyzed or mentally challenged. This is just a thrioritical excercise, why did you feel that you have to include your child abuse experience to deal with it? And pardon me for asking, you have all the right not to answer and forget all about it 🙂

I did not mean life in the wide meaning, I Kent oneself life the state of being alive, I a sence that a certain society should learn to value others and there life and there state of being alive, and if you did not respect the life of others you should be punched with death penalty so that the society would learn the value of some one being alive, the value of the soul, the body, the blood.

The value of life in general is just a state of accommodation that is set by the society, the society can set the value of life in caring for animals or the right of some one to express his words, and this sourly includes child abuse as the primary target as these children are the only ones who will be able to keep the values that so,e Scotty set.

With out both concepts we can not live, but with out the first concept we will perish.

Theoretically, can I ask you what act of redemption might an abuser perform in order to be forgiven by his abuser?

I really admire your Openss to be ideas!

Cya,

Hi Anita,

Did you had this definition ready or you just came out with it, I can not find a better way to put it!

Just describing redemption as a gift is phenomenal, as an unconditional state of mindset.
If I can imagine this state of mindset in a physical manner, it would be some thing like a Lego set.
Then you put the pieces together to form a shape, one can use it to build a car and another would use it to build a plane. And at some moment this toy could fall into pieces. I guess what am trying to say that forgiveness is a process building a bridge between 2 persons that would need constant maintenance from both sides.

“Being honest about his motivation and the abuse done” I guess that is the most critical point in redemption that an abused person can not ask for, if you can describe forgiveness as a gift, I can say that this is the gift card.

And the normal way is that you get in the gift shop and present your gift card to get your gift. It cannot go the other way around.

I guess it is just human nature, the tendency to forgive, and without these steps the forgiveness is just fake, it is just a paper bridge that fall by a small breath of air.

And till that you just need to step back and give the other side space to figure it out him self, or it will never be.

I feel I was judgemental/provocative in my before messages, and I apologies for that, but it was just a step leading us to our current state.

Correct me if am wrong?

Cya,

Dear Anita,

Am saying dear because I feel it, am sorry again for making you feel uncomfortable about it, I guess am used to running from it, and have never seen some one who have embraced them that much, and I might have been feeling threatened! It is not always easy to admint your fear and weakness.

I was referring to that and the rest of my post, my understanding of you definition, and you did not answer me, when did you come up with that definition, it’s mind blowing!

Ya I have just got some reinforcements to my current traffic control forces 😉

Respect,