I myself was blindsided by a divorce after 20 years, my wasbund had an affair and left me and our five boys.  He married the woman and has become a truly despicable person since then.  I had to take him back to court twice in a year and a half to get him to pay his child support and it took the judge threatening to put him in an orange jumpsuit to make him pay.  And he is still behind and seems to think that he only has to pay when he is able, that it is optional somehow.  So it is very hard for me to understand  what you have going on.  It seems to me that he has made his position clear on what he wants from you and what he is or is not willing to do, he doesn’t want to work that hard.  I don’t know you and I don’t know him but I believe that we all have the right to be treated with respect and love.  And if you are going to have someone significant in your life they should want to be there, not just for sex but for everything.  I wish you well on your journey and I hope you find peace.

Hi, I’m just reading the blogs on here and was immediately struck by your situation .

I think answering your question might help me too
I would like to say that if this is working for you and you are both happy carry on but there is something controlling about this situation
He says YOU have come this far with the work , but what has he done ? He wants to live in the moment what about you ?
sex and love are two different things , love isn’t just about meals , errands it’s about nurturing your needs and your wants too
You really need to start loving yourself more, why its so hard giving up this relationship ? Write things down what if he wasn’t here any more , you’d have to Manage -imagine that mindset now
I understand where you are coming from, my husband left me and I’ve done exactly the same thing .
I’m lonely and I miss affection as it makes feel loved , but we are loved by family and friends , if my children or mum treated me like this , I wouldn’t put up,with it so why do we by ex partners ? I dont know
Good luck my friend , love shouldn’t be this much trouble