It has finally happened… I finally reached the point where it was either I had to change my circumstances or loose myself forever. At first the relief of pressure that I felt from walking away from my long term toxic relationship was indescribable, and the elation I felt from my regained independence was wonderful. What I was not prepared for was the quiet times, the ones that happen at the end of a long work day and I am alone on the couch watching TV, or the silent moments of driving where I am not worrying about issues, and ready to explode over the morning argument. I find myself wanting to remember the good times (the few there were) and make excuses that well maybe it really wasn’t that bad. Then all at once it all comes back and I remember…yes it really was that bad, and my self esteem has taken such a beating that it is going to take time to rebuild. I have done all the right things, found a support group and counselor, reconnected with the family and friends that were pushed away by this relationship, started going to church, and increased my workout to two a day to deal with the anxiety. I have also planned trips for myself extending well into the late fall and I am getting my 8 hours of sleep every evening, and eating very clean. However it is in those moments of silence I find myself feeling alone and vulnerable, wondering if this is my new reality or if this will pass. Some of my friends say that I should start dating again, but I feel that it’s not time and I need to heal. Do you ever get to a point when the silence is a place of peace and not something to be feared?