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The only thing that gives value/worth to my life

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • March 21, 2017 at 9:31 am #140967
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Matt:

    Are you asking a question somewhere in your post? If so, can you state the question (or questions) as clearly as possible?

    anita

    March 21, 2017 at 9:44 am #140973
    Matt
    Participant

    I said I needed a beautiful life-filling experience (the opposite of a dead, lifeless, mechanical experience) to give real value/worth to my life. Currently, my good feelings are the only things that give me that experience and I was wondering if there was a way to achieve that experience without my good feelings. Remember, there is a big difference between our personal definitions and our experiences as I stated in my post. Therefore, it must truly be a beautiful life-filling experience for me and not just a matter of personal definitions.

    March 21, 2017 at 10:39 am #140991
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Matt:

    Your question, best I can understand, is: Is there a way to achieve an ALIVE subjective experience of life without experiencing good feelings (pleasure, desire, drive, inspiration, love)?

    If this is your question, then my answer is NO.

    Thing is, biologically, we human animals are driven above all else to survive, whatever it takes, not to be happy. As long as fear drives us, we are motivated to protect ourselves, to withdraw, contract.

    It is impossible to always feel good, as you well know. It is possible to feel more and more of these good feelings as you heal from anxiety (ongoing fear when there is no imminent or present danger).

    anita

     

     

    March 21, 2017 at 10:42 am #140993
    Matt
    Participant
    Bad feelings are worse than a lifeless mechanical state. The experience of bad feelings is not a beautiful life-filling experience for me. When I have no feelings at all, then I would be having a lifeless mechanical experience. So, without my good feelings, then the experience I would be having would either be a lifeless mechanical one or an experience that is worse than that.

    It is not my perspective. This is what the experience truly is for me because I said before that there is a big difference between our perspectives (personal definitions) and what it is we are truly experiencing. Therefore, I was wondering if there was a way I could have a beautiful life-filling experience that is real. We can toss perspective out of the window because it is completely irrelevant here. What needs to be focused on here is the actual experience itself.

    March 21, 2017 at 10:50 am #140995
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Matt:

    I don’t understand what you mean by “personal definitions” in this context. Can you give me something specific, an example, perhaps?

    anita

    March 21, 2017 at 11:01 am #140997
    Matt
    Participant

    That still all goes back to what I said before:

    “If you personally define a version of sight when you are blind or a version of hearing when you are deaf, then that would not be any real sight or hearing. It would be a dead, lifeless, mechanical experience of sight and hearing since it would not be any real experience of sight and hearing.”

    Therefore, if I was experiencing an unpleasant feeling such as depression or misery and I thought that it was a beautiful life-filled experience for me, it wouldn’t be.  The experience itself is still horrible regardless of how I think about it.

    March 21, 2017 at 11:22 am #141001
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Matt:

    By “personal definition”/ “perspectives” then, you mean what I call make-believe thinking, convenient thinking, delusional thinking, wishful thinking- and if so, I agree- delusional thinking does not change real experience. This is why I am a big fan, a huge fan, of fitting our thinking (personal definitions, perspectives) to reality. The more congruent one’s brain is with reality, the better your real experience.

    When you experience misery and depression, and your thinking about your experience does not match reality, then your experience will remain, predominantly the same. On the other hand, if your thinking regarding your misery is congruent with reality, then you have hope to heal from what ails you and to experience more and more peace of mind, contentment, and at times, that joy and drive and other good feelings you mentioned.

    anita

    March 21, 2017 at 11:45 am #141011
    Matt
    Participant

    Many people would say that having a beautiful life-filling experience, having a mechanical, dead, lifeless experience, and having a horrible experience are merely value judgments.  I do not agree that they are.  I think they are actual experiences like sight and hearing.  Sight and hearing are not value judgments.  They are actual experiences that can be taken away from you such as if you became blind or deaf.  In that same sense, any beautiful life-filling experience in your life can be taken away from you since that is an actual experience like sight and hearing.  That experience would be our good feelings.

    Good value/worth and bad value are not judgments either.  They are synonymous with our good (pleasant) feelings and our bad (unpleasant) feelings.  Having good feelings in your life is always a beautiful life-filling experience and will always bring good value/worth to your life, having no feelings at all would always be a dead mechanical experience and will always bring no value to your life, while having bad feelings will always be a horrible experience that will always bring bad value to your life.

    March 21, 2017 at 12:12 pm #141019
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Matt:

    I agree with you then.

    Good feelings can be taken away from a person, like sight can and hearing. Good feelings are taken away from people by other people, mostly, by abuse and harm, aggression, which are common, especially in childhood. Those good feelings are taken away and anxiety, depression set in where once were those good feelings.

    I am in the process of getting back some of those good feelings following decades of that deadness on one hand or the distress on the other, that I experienced. What a journey this is.

    anita

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