Hi Peter
I am writing on behalf of Wendy. She is not able to write by herself (she is holding a beer in one hand and cigarette in other)
Sometimes it’s hard to find ourselves in this money racing world. But are we really want to join this race?
My life was similar, I couldn’t fit myself in any of existing cultures .. I’ve tried to fit in heavy metal environment, cool people circle , posh ladies with clean polished nails ,religious circle ,above the law circuit as well.. nothing really seemed to pull me to stay permanently.
But now I’m +30 and finally I feel like I am where I should be. It’s good place to be when all what triggers is unknown.
I found love , I’ve became connected to my inner me. I do or think about things which serves me at the moment, I don’t care what other people think or how they react for what I say.
Worrying about others is just a waste of time.
If you like to drink and smoke than do it. No one can tell you don’t. You don’t seem like a park duck to me the way you talk is very mature.
I like to keep in peace while listening good creative music. Classical or meditation for healing, improvement, strength.. YT have it all . Maybe you could give yourself some relaxing mind evenings.
Wise peo and are lost sometimes and not many smart are ar when we need them the most.
Good luck to you . Regards