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The Biggest Fear in My Life ~ Loneliness

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  • February 13, 2017 at 9:35 am #127413
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear yongsua:

    You wrote: “I have problems dealing with my deep and extreme emotions that can scare the hell out of the people surrounding me”- are you referring to your homosexuality alone or to more than it being scary for others?

    Also, do you have or are you pursuing same sex relationships?

    anita

    February 13, 2017 at 6:04 pm #127487
    yongsua
    Participant

    Sorry for the incomplete details…. I would like to clarify that I have very deep and intense emotional needs. It makes me feel like I am very needy. I usually do not show my true emotions to others, I always keep smiling to others and act like nothing has happened. But deep inside my heart I am bleeding, sad, angry, disappointed, etc. Many of my friends have very calm and balance emotions, so I dare not express my true emotions to them. Because once I express my true emotions, it is overwhelming not only to myself, but also my people surrounding me. They might start to think that I am an over-reactive, emotional and immature person. I look calm from the outside but deep inside my heart there is always emotional drama going on. It is unpredictable not only to myself but also to others. Nobody could understand who I really am due to the complexity of my emotions. So, it has nothing to do with my homosexuality.

    February 13, 2017 at 6:13 pm #127489
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear yongsua:

    So you hide your strong emotions with a smile. What if your friends only appear “calm and balanced”- maybe they too hide strong emotions. And if so, every individual feels he is the only one…

    The “complexity of (your) emotions” will become simplified once you take on the habit of expressing your emotions to others. Start with disciplined expression, using words to express your anger, for example, instead of … let’s say breaking things. Or sadness, use words instead of crying, if you can do it. This way you start to release, gently, gradually, the pressure of keeping your emotions locked inside you.

    Gentle, gradual opening and sharing will not overwhelm you or others, and may encourage others to do the same.

    anita

    February 14, 2017 at 9:04 am #127573
    Peter
    Participant

    I think myself as selfish but I am willing to sacrifice anything for people who can pass my “test”

    I’ve never been found of the idea of “the test”. Perhaps due to my own experience of a girlfriend to which everything became a test. Being human it was inevitable that I failed but not until l my sense of self was totally confused.

    Perhaps taking yourself out of your current way of thinking could be helpful. Why not erase the chock board and start over.

    Perhaps start by taking some time to reconnect to your own understanding of love, relationship… when you use those words what are you really saying?

    Very much recommend
    How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving – by David Richo as a guide

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