Home→Forums→Relationships→Terrified of being left (by boyfriend, friends, or family)
- This topic has 5 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 8 years ago by
Anonymous.
-
AuthorPosts
-
April 18, 2017 at 10:58 am #145697
AnonymousGuestDear dreaming715:
I am feeling insecure myself, often enough. There is always this or that trigger, for me- I am aware that my life as is today may not be my life tomorrow. Today I am living in a nice, warm house. Next year… I may live in a tent under a bridge, I don’t know. Today I am healthy as far as I know, tomorrow, I may not be. And so it goes.
Insecurity really is the nature of life. Who is secure? Not even the richest, not the most powerful can go to sleep at night being assured that they will wake up the next day, not catch a deadly disease or not have a family member die the next day.
I am not making light of your anxiety, or mine, in any way. I am only too familiar with how powerful anxiety is and can be. In my efforts to live best I can with the insecurity inherent in life, I repeat to myself Reality. I look around at nature, insecurity, lack of guarantees, is inherent in any and every life form.
I keep reminding myself and approaching this reality with as much acceptance and peace of mind as I can muster.
I believe that the more congruent my beliefs, my thoughts and my feelings are with reality, the better my emotional well being.
At times, we are all terrified. Post here anytime you are, if it may help. Find comfort in your boyfriend. Keep abusive relationships in the past. Do your best now, the next moment.
anita
April 18, 2017 at 12:35 pm #145721
dreaming715ParticipantAnita, that definitely helps put things in perspective. As odd as it may sound, sometimes I forget that other people are experiencing the things you listed (disease, death, loss, etc…).
Sometimes I get stuck in the mindset that other people have it all. Financial success, happy relationships that result in marriage, health that allows them to climb mountains and run marathons, beautiful homes, healthy families, and the list goes on…
I look at my life and see metaphorical ruin. I’m currently seeing a therapist for anxiety and depression and I think the depression sometimes hangs a dark cloud over my head. It’s difficult to see past it sometimes, but I think practicing mindfulness and awareness can help me. I also liked your idea of your “thoughts being congruent with reality.” I think my mind lives in a fantasy world sometimes that everyone around me has it so much better. Realistically, that’s not the case. So thank you for the eye-opening response!
April 18, 2017 at 1:00 pm #145725AnonymousGuestDear dreaming715:
You are welcome. From my experience, that very perception of others as happy, successful and “having it all”, is the perception of a troubled mind (anxious, depressed). What a surprise it was for me to find out this is not the case. When you get rid of that cognitive-fog that goes along with distress, you are able to see people and situations as they truly are.
I think you are doing well, being employed, living in your own apartment, having a long term relationship, keeping no contact with your abusive mother… I am quite impressed.
anita
April 18, 2017 at 3:11 pm #145741dreaming715ParticipantThank you! I don’t hear that very often, so it means a lot to read those words. I love the community here at tiny buddha and have found a lot of comfort in the support offered here by the individuals who contribute to this forum.
April 18, 2017 at 8:44 pm #145771AnonymousGuestYou are welcome dreaming715. I am glad you are here!
anita
-
AuthorPosts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 