Dear Maria:

There will always be someone to negatively criticize me, I realize and I believe it is true to everyone else. Even the most diplomatic people, those most gentle in their expressions, always prepared to back of their positions so to please, in other words, no matter how anyone tries, there will always be someone to negatively criticize, to attack. It is a social reality.

The more passion and conviction you have while at the same time not being abusive, the LESS you are likely to be bullied. This is the funny thing: people think that if they are gentle, careful, they will not be bullied, not so. People bully the weak, those they perceive to be weak more than they do others. So the best way to go is with passion and conviction and assertiveness.

When you encounter rude and obnoxious responses to you and you feel anger, don’t back off, continue to express yourself with the same passion and conviction on the topic as well as point out to the person who is being rude how he or she is being rude. You can say: (name, or otherwise identify the person), look in his or her eyes and say: I need you to not interrupt me when I am talking just as I would not interrupt you when you are talking. Once you assert yourself like that, in this example, your anger will subside.

anita

hey Anita…u interested in frnshp with me?