First and foremost it’s important to acknowledge anger as a natural feeling, so it’s alright that you have it of course. When I recently went through something I had to allow myself the space to feel angry- what’s important though is not acting on the feeling in a negative way, which it sounds like you aren’t doing.

She definitely seems like someone who has a lot of things to work out, and I would ignore that message from her friend. Their opinion of you shouldn’t matter so long as you think you did the right thing and were kind about it. Friends can be protective, some to a nastier extent, unfortunately. I think you did the right thing in blocking her.

What I do if I’m ever trying to create space and reintroduce peace into my life is to just listen to my feelings and take a step away from it all, so that means ignoring messages, calls, anything. I haven’t been in a situation quite like yours before but I would suggest expressing your feelings in a healthy way without replying to them, let them get bored of it and stop, and let time make the situation a thing of the past.

I recently had a blindsided breakup that left me whirling in confusion and anger, so I took that anger and wrote poems- I wrote a lot, actually- vented to a trusted friend a couple of times with their permission, unfriended my ex after a couple of weeks (to make sure I really wanted to first), and sent my photos with him to an email I could access later while deleting them from my phone so bad feelings wouldn’t be stirred up in the future. I refused to contact him- no matter how angry I was, I wouldn’t go asking him for answers or anything like that, and especially would not lash out (I still care about him anyway, so lashing out would be the worst thing to do to us both). I valued my own healing and self respect more.

It’s okay to have that anger for a little while, but once you feel the anger has served its purpose in your life it will eventually be time to decide you’ve worked through it and are okay to move forward and leave these difficult people where they belong- behind you.

I hope everything settles down for you soon! (:

• This reply was modified 7 years ago by Isra.

I always found the statement “taking the high road” a passive aggressive idea, that is rooted in self pride and a self congratulatory in nature to the point that it can pose as being kind, open and loving when it’s not 🙂 and you’re simply reflecting the nature you perceive to be troubling  and disguising it.

Anger, frustration and judgement is something i suffer from greatly. I’m trying to understand myself and the nature of these emotions, and how they came to hold such prominence over my psyche.

Before i continue perhaps you know of him perhaps you don’t, actualised.org on youtube this content creator to me personally would be one of the most desired people to speak to. He gives in depth spiritual/psychological/philosophical explanations on a whole range of topics including anger, resentment the list just goes on and on! I really love this guy.

One thing he said that stuck with me is anger stems from not willing to understand any other perspective other than your own. If you’re angry you better believe you are only thinking of yourself and your set of circumstances, i speak from experience. When you’re angry, you don’t really want to understand. You want to have this self righteous judgement which further propels you into more judgement, swaying you to be angry, or resentful or a myriad of other perceived negative reactions we can have.

If corruption is something that bothers and upsets you and gets you all worked up, the reason is because you don’t or are not willing to understand this human condition holistically, or completely. You only want to see it through your tiny lense. Argh this corruption, ally he work i do and people like this walk all over me and get away with it!

I’m not advocating this type of behaviour but understanding the human condition and why people do the corrupt things that they do can really help clear up the most likely narrow minded misconceptions you had of the topic.

Empathy, so the person who abused you for no fault of  your own, the most difficult thing and i’m not saying i do this. Is to surrender yourself to the knowledge that she is like she is because she couldn’t have turned out any other way. How she was raised, criticised, hurt, her lack of or sufficient role models in her life.

If you don’t know the person i mentioned. Go on youtube and type actualised.org and it’s a bald guy talking in front of a black screen. Can’t speak more highly of him.

On another note, praising and blaming. Another thing I’ve been trying to wrap my head around that causes judgement is.  How can your praise of others or things have any currency or potency if you don’t properly criticise things and others? and vice versa.

How do we do this? I don’t know :), you’ll have to ask someone else who understand a whole lot more than me.

I hope this helped.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by misterman.
• This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by misterman.