Home→Forums→Relationships→suggestions please!
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Joseph.
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December 3, 2013 at 2:00 pm #46151
kristie greenParticipantThis is my first post-so it may be long (apologies). I don’t know what to do about my marriage. Been together almost 5 years, and instead of us growing together- we are growing apart. Complete opposites in nearly every way- so we have many different activites and intrests. Yes, we have supported each other in our interests- yes we have tried new intrests. But there is a bit of disconnect- we barely sleep in the same bed, silence or screaming, no real intimacy. Or friendship it seems. We have had some issues in the past- lying, cheating, ” omitting” – and it seemed we had gotten all past that. I feel like a guest in my own home and have to watch what I say. Don’t get me wrong- I’m far from perfect…and have made my share of mistakes in our marriage. But,it seems like we are almost strangers. We both reassure love for one another- however it seems as if this has become a band-aid. I have read, talked, begged, argued to try and get us back on track. I feel more distant today than I have in a long time. Its hard to stay positive when its unpredictable, its hard to feel love and sexy and desirable when I feel unwanted. We both have good qualities, and not so good quailites. I’m not trying to pin it all on him- but I’m starving…
December 3, 2013 at 7:03 pm #46167
KlineParticipantHi Kristie, I am sorry for what you are going through. Is it helpful to remember why you married him in the beginning? Do you want to stay married with him? I believe if you believe in the marriage, and he does too, that you can work something out. Or is there a reason to end the marriage? I am sure it is hard to know. I am single and sometimes have this fantasy that everything will be much better once I get married, but I know that is not the case. I applaud you for trying – anything – just keep trying different things and approaches. I hope more people respond.
December 3, 2013 at 8:52 pm #46177
JosephParticipantHi Kristie
All marriages go through rough patches but what you are going through sounds really tough. One people live separate lives for to long it become much more difficult. Do you feel like he is trying? Have you guys talked about if the two of you want to be together?
I don’t know what the outcome will be but I think your best bet is to have a frank discussion preferably with blame put aside to answer If both of you want to put in the effort.
I truly hope things work out, but in the end make sure you look after yourself and your needs.
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