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Stuck in a rut

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Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • July 6, 2015 at 7:39 pm #79411
    Charles
    Participant

    I’ve been bored a lot in the past two years. Most of the time, I don’t know what to do when not working or studying. I’ve even gotten bored with food and don’t know what drink to try either. Not seeing fireworks the other day had me wonder why I don’t have friends or a group to hang out with after moving, it’s like I don’t exist. I’m pretty used to being isolated so much, but it’s getting irritating.

    July 6, 2015 at 7:53 pm #79413
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear charles26:
    At least you are working and studying, that’s two things you are doing. And you do exist, you just don’t feel very lively and happy and connected. Hope that you will find small ways to be feel more connected, more alive.
    anita

    July 7, 2015 at 4:09 am #79446
    Sann
    Participant

    Hi Charles26,

    I usually don’t reply to topics here because i feel that other people have much more insightful things to say.
    But i recognise quite a few things what you write – some of them more in the past.
    I also felt like that for a long time: so bored, don’t know what to do. It took me quite a while, slowly to start to learn which kinds of things i like doing. I still have some way to go but i did find some things already that i enjoy and that already does a lot to me.

    Working and studying, you sounds pretty busy. I’d like to ask you what you study and work, but that’s actually not my business. What i mean to ask is, do you really like those things? Is your study something that really interest you, that you like spending your time and energy with?

    You write that you don’t have a group of friends after moving. Did you move far away from your previous place, and was that recently? I mean, yes it can be difficult to meet new friends when you are new. I moved to an other country myself and i see that many people who come here make friends quickly and easily. But for me it doesn’t work like that.
    So maybe you need to give yourself more time, you already do so much, maybe not everything can come at once.

    I’d just like to speak for myself, because i don’t want to be projecting my own stuff to you. I think that for me, it is good to focus more and doing things that i like, and finding out more about my interests, and that way it might be easier to connect with other people. That if i’m too focused on ‘i dont have any friends here and would like to meet some people’ – it works the opposite way. But i don’t know if that’s right.

    I recognise your feeling though, that it seems like you don’t exist because of isolation. I hope you can find some ways to connect more with yourself in the first place.

    July 7, 2015 at 4:12 am #79447
    Sann
    Participant

    Oh and one more thing…
    About the fireworks. If i read well, you were sad because you would have liked to see the fireworks, but didn’t have anybody to go with?
    Don’t know if it is fun for you, but would you consider going to these kinds of things alone?
    That might not be as fun – although, some people can enjoy themselves in their own company, i personally don’t mind it too much – but at least you get to see or do something fun, which might be better than sitting alone in your room and feeling sad about having missed it.

    July 7, 2015 at 8:43 am #79460
    Charles
    Participant

    I have gone to events on my own, but leave soon after I get bored. Even in groups, I don’t connect with anyone. I didn’t move far, but I didn’t have any friends back home either. One friend I do have told me I’m very unique.

    July 8, 2015 at 12:31 am #79488
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Dear charles26,

    My goodness, how I see myself in you! I had the same problem too months ago, when my social circle had been reduced to that one friend who says I am very unique. It’s difficult for me to connect to other people, especially when I find what they do or talk about boring.

    It was my friend who woke me up that the only thing blocking my way from getting friends was my self. I was too scared of being rejected, and automatically assumed I would get bored because I was too different, that I didn’t bother to try. At least, not as hard as I could’ve.

    I tried doing new things, see what I like to do, and fond other people who like the same things. I got into Yoga, and as a beginner, I was able to open up a conversation with someone who had been practicing for a long time. I didn’t get bored, because it was something I was interested in.

    The friends who you want are out there, you just gotta look for them in the right places. And it is important to be open to new experiences, as these are the keys to finding new social circles. You just gotta get out more to places you enjoy! You might find it easier to find friends who enjoy the same things you do. Good luck Charles! Stay positive!

    July 8, 2015 at 6:50 pm #79528
    Charles
    Participant

    I’m not afraid to try, as failing isn’t even that bad, I can always fix things. It’s not knowing where to start and where to go that has me stumped. Let’s just say I’m opinionated and energetic and armed with smart remarks when in a good mood.

    August 5, 2015 at 9:27 am #81273
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Charles, what is it that you really want to do?!

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