I met a man while I was on holiday two years ago.  We got on great and he ended up following me during the remainder of his trip. The chemistry was amazing. While we were intimate we did not have s*x. Before we left he told me he didn’t want a relationship and was not going to call me. We live in different continents and it’s not possible to talk on Skype during the week. We could if we wanted to but it would take huge sacrifice. We kept in touch via email and talked on Skype several times a month. We got along so well we went on another trip and once again we had a great time. Before we left he told me he once again he didn’t want a relationship. I asked for space and somehow he convinced me to talk to him for a few months more. I ended up visiting him. After I purchased the ticket he told me he didn’t want a relationship. Ok! Once again we had a great time. Before I left I suggested planning our spring holiday. He told me he didn’t want to focus on it because when I booked my trip all he thought about was me and he didn’t want to focus all his energy on me. I told him I got it and asked him for a year of no contact. He reluctantly agreed.  Every 3 months (the longest he stayed away) during the next year and half he sent me emails. It was impossible to move on and I didn’t have the heart to tell him.  Earlier this year he sent me an email and told me that if I was in his region, feel free to stop by (let him know in advance) his place, he’d meet me somewhere or we go somewhere together. I thought about it and suggested we meet somewhere. I asked him to plan it.  During the planning stage I asked what his expectations were. He told he didn’t know.  Since we got along so well in the past I was not worried.   As soon as I saw him he gave me a hug and while I was sitting next to him at the airport, he could not keep his hands off me. During the next three weeks we got along awesome. He was very loving and protective. He held my hands at every chance he got, kissed me often and being very gentlemanly.  He smiled a lot and I asked him often what he was laughing at. His response was he was happy. Everyday he told me he told me we got along great.  One day I told him I didn’t want to partake in an activity and he was a bit surprised. He told me he came to spend time with me.  We were glued to the hips for over 2 weeks. I figured he wanted some alone time.  While on holiday we didn’t talk about our feelings.  Before we came we both acknowledged the risks (getting hurt) involved.  One day he asked me if  I felt loved.  Another time he told me I was his wife. I didn’t comment. On our last day together he was very subdued. I asked if everything was ok and he turned his head so I didn’t press further. He didn’t email me when we got home. I emailed a few days later to thank him for a good time and filled him on what happened since. He told he me had a great time but was mentally exhausted from the emotions and the work piled up in the office. He told me he’d write me ‘soon’. I told him to take all the time he needs.  I haven’t heard from him in two weeks.  Should I say something so that I can get closure?  While I respect his need for space, I am disappointed that he leaves me hanging. We can’t go back to the way things were – exchanging emails every few weeks/months.  Why doesn’t he tell me he wants X amount of time away? That is what I would have told him or would like to tell him.  I want to close this chapter and move on.  We dragged this on for two years and pretending like we were not in a relationship. The truth is we were, not in a traditional sense.  Deep down in my heart I know he cared for me and enjoyed his time with me.  This trip confirmed this.  It also confirmed that he wanted to play house but when it comes down to the real thing, it’s too real for him.  I feel that we need to come to an understanding going forward – we end it or give the relationship a go.  Based on our history I don’t expect him to declare his love for me any time soon. How long do I wait?  Should I email him or leave it and move on?    Thank you for reading.

• This topic was modified 7 years, 8 months ago by Wanderlust16.