Hi there,

I don’t usually use these sorts of things, but I decided I’d give it a whirl this time. I’ve been noticing a steady decline in my mental health over the last few months. I went for CBT therapy last year and finished in May. It went well and really helped, though I did feel that some things weren’t covered. It was as much as the NHS were willing to offer me and as I had already waited months to receive it I tried to make the best of it. But it really did help for a while and life started to make sense again.

At some point, things have taken a turn and started to go downhill again. I can’t pinpoint exactly when it was, but I’ve definitely been feeling worse since Christmas. I’ve noticed an increase in negative thoughts and I am finding it harder to cope with anxious thoughts and feelings. At first I thought it was because I had the contraceptive implant put in on the 6th January, and that still might be a possibility.

To give a bit more info on how I’m feeling and why I’ve chosen this forum: I’ve been feeling purposeless. I have always been very meaning-driven and I like to work on creative projects or learn skills that would contribute to meaningful work I can do in the future. I have recently undergone a pretty massive change of heart around choosing not to train as a teacher. This was something I have wanted to do for years, but after spending a few years working as a TA I have become disillusioned with the current education system and I’m not keen to put myself under that much stress again. I am now working for a lovely company at a shop that sells baby and maternity clothes and products. It’s honestly the best job I’ve had in terms of conditions, working relationships etc. But it doesn’t bring my life meaning.

This would be fine, if I could find meaning elsewhere, but I am struggling to. I have a lot of things I would like to accomplish in my life. I don’t understand why I’m not working on them. There is inspiration happening all around me all the time. But everything I could do feels like it will never be good enough.

I’m just not really sure what’s going on, and I’d really appreciate your help.