Hi Taymor,

I am more than happy to share my words if it makes you feel any better. Try to find strength in your friends or come here when you are feeling upset, so that you can do well on finals. I totally screwed mine. It’s very sad when our dreams are broken. We are sad because we believe that our relationships had “potential” to be so much more and that we would achieve milestones together and that we will never be able to experience that. I really don’t like dating and prefer being in an exclusive relationship, so I understand your thoughts on marriage. Unfortunately, not everyone will share our thoughts and we can’t change how they feel. We may want to fix things, but we really can’t. We can work on ourselves and accepting things for what they are.

You are stronger than you know. If you want to reach out, then that’s up to you. If you can give yourself closure and don’t care to ask then that’s fine too. I understand where you are coming from. Is it the fact that you already tried asking him so many times why he wanted to end the relationship before you guys actually broke up and he didn’t say anything? It’s so frustrating – I know. You feel like you know this person, but on their end, they think they are protecting us by not telling us the truth. I support your decision in not reaching out to him.

I am doing a lot better and feeling really good, thanks for asking. It has been 3 months since our break up, but it was only 3-4 days ago that we spoke about why we broke up. He opened up and said some things about being stressed and anxious around me, but I know that isn’t the only reason. There are a lot of reasons, but I had to figure those out on my own by recalling events in the relationship. He told me that we could only be friends if I accepted that we would never be in a relationship ever again. I was sad and then I was mad that he never considered my feelings in any of our conversations. I always tell the truth and consider his feelings when we speak. Even after so much happened, I was still understanding and patient with the way he treated me. At times I am upset that I let myself go through that, but at the end of the day I am a better person and I will eventually meet someone who is compassionate the way I am. I asked him not to write to me anymore, but I will be seeing him at school in a week or so. How are you doing? What have you been doing to stay busy? Where is your ex now?

• This reply was modified 9 years, 3 months ago by Annie.

Hello again Taymor,

Wow, the similarities between our ex’s are surprising.The fact that you are trying is the most important thing. I’m very happy to see that i’m not the only person who is still compassionate even if the other partner is not. I think we are cut out for a partner who is more mature and is open in talking about their feelings. I can’t be in another relationship where the person is shy and shut off. As much as I like shy guys, a relationship needs two people and needs communication. I agree, I can’t date for a long time either. Your relationship was so much longer than mine. I think you deserve to be happy and free. Do all the things you enjoy.

I’m really sorry you have to stay in a place that makes you sad. It can be so difficult to relive the memories that are no longer there. I just avoid those places, but I might try embracing them and making new memories. I think it’s better to be single and alone than rather than alone and neglected in a relationship. Ah, being strangers. It’s so weird isn’t it? At what point do you pretend like nothing happened? hm.

You are very intuitive, I will take your advice and join a couple new clubs. Please do the same for yourself. It’s not a stretch AT ALL. Please come back at any time to check in or even if you just need a friend to talk to. I hope you will find some peace and feel free. Take care.