Home→Forums→Relationships→STRUGGLE MARRIAGE AND PAINFUL.
- This topic has 287 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 10 months ago by Thondit.
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July 8, 2020 at 10:26 am #361031AnonymousGuest
Dear Gregory:
You are a kind man, thank you for your kind words and appreciation of me. You brought a smile to my face, thank you!
I am so glad to read that you are “a man enough.. capable to keep my son happy, and enjoy his own life”- it makes me feel good to read from a father who does his best for his son.
“Perhaps I don’t even discuss anything like his mother, that she is fine.. or she is a prostitute”- if your son expresses that he worries about his mother, wondering if she is okay or in trouble, tell him she is fine, so to calm his worries. (If you see him worried, ask him gently what he is worried about, and calm him best you can).
Otherwise, don’t mention her to him, good or bad. Have him focus on the adults who do take care of him. Those who take care of him, those who spend time with him, are the people who practically matter in his life.
Good to read from you anytime, Gregory. Keep yourself and your son as safe as possible.
anita
July 8, 2020 at 10:51 am #361040ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
Thanks for the smile. Besides this pandemic lockdown complicated everything to everyone’s life. This woman is trying to wrestle with life but she will never achieved anything in God faith.
Also I want to tell you that my son has been having his classes in the house. And I paid her teacher monthly basis. I’m happy that he is speaking fluent English and Kwashili well.
Thanks Anita again for being proud of me.
Gregory.
July 9, 2020 at 7:21 pm #361221AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
Your thread is back! Good to read that your son has been studying at home and that you pay his teacher on a monthly basis, and that he speaks fluent English and Kiswahili. I am proud of you, Gregory, for being a good father and a good man!
anita
July 12, 2020 at 10:06 pm #361518ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
Sorry for the late response. I was preoccupied with work and I couldn’t able to go on the website to participate. Besides that is great work for bring back my thread to be updating you anytime that thing happened between me and the family of my estranged wife.
Let me hope that my thread did not touch anyone who is in this forum but it is for my family thing which will never go out of the agenda.
On the other hand, the mother in-laws of my estranged wife she has finally given her daughter to one of the police guy who was once my friend, that I used to help him at the airport.
This boy was also a deej in all the clubs of juba.
😂 😂 😂 my mother in-laws was exactly behaving like those who attended the conference in 1947 in juba, of which her mother and my own father were not yet born..
They are all celebrating that they finally got the right man in their family.
They are also happy because the husband who used to stand up with me has gone to heaven. So at the current state they don’t have any fear from anyone who has remained .
But they still carry a big cross on their neck.
The elder brother to my father in-law who passed away wanted to divorce the woman with the children.
He said girls are they resources in South Sudan and we married their mother with our wealth those days now it is us to benefit from her daughters but she is spoiling them.
I’m more excited and extremely happy to respond to u again and for bring back my thread Anita.
Thank you so much.
Cheer.
Gregory.
July 13, 2020 at 7:41 am #361538AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
You mentioned the 1947 conference in Juba (the national capital of South Sudan), so I looked it up:
It was a conference organized by Britain for the purpose of combining northern and southern Sudan into one political entity. Before that time, Northern Sudan was politically and economically well-structured, heavily Arabized and practiced Islam. Southern Sudan was not well structured politically and economically, was mainly composed by various Nilotic tribes (people native of the Nile River who speak Nilotic languages such as Dinka, Luo and Nuer, and who practiced a mixture of Christian and traditional beliefs.
The Juba Conference agreed that northern and southern Sudan would constitute one state. But southern Sudanese representatives were unhappy because they were placed in an inferior position in the new arrangement: only 4 out of 800 administrative posts were given to the Southerners, which means that Southerners were to be politically ruled by the Northerners! This disparity lead to the First and Second Sudanese Civil Wars, eventually resulting, in 2001, in the Southern provinces becoming an independent state, the Republic of South Sudan. (Wikipedia).
So you, Gregory, was born a few years before the independence of South Sudan. Back to your post:
I understand that you were preoccupied with work and weren’t able to post here. You are welcome to post whenever you can and want to post. You wrote about the mother of your estranged wife: “My mother in-law was exactly behaving like those who attended the conference in 1947 in Juba, of which her mother and my own father were not yet born”-
– she behaved like the British or the north Sudanese at the conference?
And by giving her daughter to this policeman/ dj, what do you mean exactly (is this woman still legally married to you, or is legal marriage ignored in society)?
anita
July 13, 2020 at 8:19 am #361545ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
😂 😂 😂 How wise you are to go through the conference which was attended in 1947 juba. Thank you for having go through that meeting in general.
Besides, what I mean is that she is not behaving in the appropriate way in the whole family and Tonj great in general.
They whole Tonj great is a ware of how my mother in-law is behaving in the society. Yes try estranged wife is still my wife because I did not divorced her. Regardless of her doom plans she is not at the right side because all the big people in the family of my father-in-law are extremely closed to me and behind me.
The policeman /dj is wasting his own time because they will soon be sue to court. On a simple note,,,,,, in our culture there is no woman who is responsible for the children or girls who should be handle in a suitable way.
Thou she is happy already due to the lost of her husband /my father in-law who passed on,,,,,, she has no right to.
People are disheartened about her wrong doing and intentions she is proposing in the family. She has killed the respiratory respect of the family whom the whole greater Tonj,,,,,, used to help n respect.
Hence a mother she would have remained as loyal as you.
Regards.
Gregory
July 13, 2020 at 8:30 am #361546ThonditParticipantThou I’m no longer interested in her. My estranged wife will remain has my wife. My plans is; I will divorce this woman when his son is grown up. For now I just give them plastic smile in order to post them on,,,,,, so that his son should have knowledge about her mother characters.
Even if they go heaven and earth, they will not win…. Haha 😂
July 13, 2020 at 8:34 am #361547AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
Your mother in law and your estranged wife (you are still legally married to her) live in Tonj, which is a city in northwest South Sudan, about 525 km northwest of Juba, population was over 17 thousands in 2010. It is the largest city in Warrap State, one of the 10 states that constitute South Sudan. It is the ancestral home to the Dinka along with the Bongo ethnic groups and several smaller tribal groups.
There are two things that you wrote that I didn’t understand:
1. You wrote: “The policeman/ dj is wasting his own time because they will soon be sue to court”- who will sue whom in court, and for what specifically?
2. You wrote: “in our culture there is no woman who is responsible for the children or girls who should be handle in a suitable way”- are you referring to the Dinka culture, and can you explain the sentence I quoted, when you have the time?
anita
July 13, 2020 at 8:46 am #361549ThonditParticipantDear Anita.
- The policeman /dj is wasting is own time because,,,, the people of my father-in-law said this woman (mother inlaw) has to be taken to court because of spoiling the whole imagine of the family.
- Yes in Dinka culture a woman should not take responsibility of girls which are the resources to Dinka culture. Now she has spoiled the girls in the house which she used them as a shop to those people who has money.
July 13, 2020 at 9:17 am #361553AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
I think I understand, what you explained fit with what you explained to me in the past. This woman, the mother of your estranged wife reads like a terrible woman, from all that you shared. I hope society, the Dinka people in Tonj do take this woman to court for her terrible behaviors.
anita
July 13, 2020 at 2:37 pm #361607ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
You have absolutely correct and understood me. She is a terrible woman.
Thanks , you are reallly .
July 13, 2020 at 4:06 pm #361614AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
You are welcome. I am glad that I understand you. Until the next time I read from you, please take good care of yourself and of your son, keep the two of you safe from the virus and from terrible women/ people.
anita
July 13, 2020 at 7:52 pm #361622ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you so much for the good thing you had been doing to keeping me safe from this people and guiding me from the from the enemy like estranged wife. How happy I’m today to be with you as your son to be cared of. As I always do my things I find myself that I have my Lee way, which is Anita, to back me up. Hopefully thanks for having knowledge about me and the family at large. Besides which country do you live in Anita? I might fly there one day I know and I have to meet you in person with the give at my hand to present to you.
However, I promise that I will keep myself from this people and keep my son away from them too. Drop me your whatsapp number mommy.
All the best.
July 14, 2020 at 8:13 am #361659AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
I read your post to me on the other thread, thank you. Regarding your recent post here, you are welcome. You make me smile referring to me as your mommy and to you as my son. This is a very kind gesture, on your part, to refer to me this way. As far as dropping you my Whatsapp- I never had that application, never used it. I don’t even have Facebook. The only social media I engage in is this website. So let’s keep communicating here. As far as flying one day to where I live and meet me in person- what a precious thought this is, to meet you in person. It feels to me like it would be a wonderful thing!(I live in the US, first arrived here when I was about your age).
I am very glad to read that you promise to keep yourself and your son away from these people who are bad for you and bad for your son. All the best to you too, Gregory!
anita
July 14, 2020 at 9:39 am #361671ThonditParticipantDear Anita (Swiri mommy),
Nina ona akawa vizuri sana. I mean this is so sweet and wonderful. I’m glad and much appreciated in all your replies. They are so encouraging and emotional in someone’s life like me.
U are so kind to everyone too. So blessed by the way. U are unbreakable bond mommy ….. You are uncomparable human beings,,,,,, very organized woman on earth.
I I have a lots of words to describe you . On the other hand I have flown to US several times And if I had known you earlier I would have contact you to meet.
Put one thing in your mind,,,,, I’m coming to US next month for my type rating for my Q400
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