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STRUGGLE MARRIAGE AND PAINFUL.

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  • May 17, 2019 at 8:43 am #294245
    Thondit
    Participant

    Point of correction , my father in-laws said since you refused to listen to me and refuse Gregory , the young I had accepted to be your husband until the day die or you leave this world.  You decided with your witchcraft mother , to create tension just to make a way of going away and have freedom with other men. He said I don’t want hear your nonsense.  They are hoping their grandmother who is in Canada to be sending money for the renting.  For how long will she do that? ???

    Her younger sister who is following my wife said she has got a job,  of being a cashier in the salon. Aha,  will the money of salon manage to rent a house? ?? Whom are they hoping for?? ? For how long will be going on begging ??? No man will go for her to marry her or any girl because my wife is the first born one and she has spoiled the road already.

    In South Sudan , you marry according to how the family handle houses. They see the father,  first is he responsible ??? And then go to mother is she responsible?  Can she support her daughter when she is doing wrong thing !!!! If you find it out that the mother of the girl is a devil , then you will automatically quit the girl.

    My father in-laws is a very kind and responsible man,  that is why he told his wife , you had spoiled my name . And I do want to be part of you anymore.  Go to any place you want in your heart .

    Haaahaaaa I am happy with the principles of my father.

     

    May 17, 2019 at 9:02 am #294249
    Thondit
    Participant

    Anita ,

    My fear is one! !!! When I was in High School , our Chemistry Teacher , taught us something tangible , he said if  a child is dull in in class or a thief,  then its start from the mother.  When a child wise then its also from the mother.

    If my brain is the one with my son,  then I will be more than happy .

    My Chemistry teacher , was examiner and expert . He gave us spontaneous example of a girl whom her mother was a thief,  if she go to any Supermarket within Uganda , she definitely steal things and put it in the hand bag and begin to hide it.  And the CCT Camara,  will show her in the screen at the main computer and she will be investigated and perhaps if she deny it , she will be shown in the screen.

    Her husband was a minister and when he had seen this thing is in the blood of her wife and begins to distribute all is account number to any Supermarket,  so that when they see her stealing things,  they just deduct from the account of her husband.

    Her daughter becomes a thief as well and she used to be chase from ever school , she went to.

    In every year she goes to 6-7 school.

    So if my son goes into her mother character , then I am finish , my 150 cows zero,  and everything I had used be nothing.

    And if he follows my shoes then , I will appreciate God.

    Anita,

    I am sorry for being too wordy today.

     

    May 17, 2019 at 9:33 am #294251
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gregory:

    You are welcome and thank you for your kind words! I will be responding to the recent three posts you submitted (the last one in front of me as I type this is the one starting with “My fear is one!”)-

    You stated: “I will achieve my target and my amazing goal of become a Captain in command (PIC) or call it Pilot in command, and my son Agoth Gregory,  will be my first officer”.

    You wrote that your estranged wife’s brother who is in primary school called you today asking you for rent money that he/ your estranged wife need, telling you that his father will not help because she betrayed you, her husband. He told his daughter: “Go to any boy friend you are targeting to pay the money the rent of new house”. Your estranged wife, her mother, her siblings, are hoping that the grandmother in Canada will send them more money. You shared that there is little chance for the younger sister to get married because in South Sudan, men look to marry a woman whose father and mother are responsible, correcting their daughter if she does wrong. “If you find out that the mother of the girl is a devil, then you will automatically quit the girl”.

    But your father in law, he is a responsible man and this is why he told his wife: “you had spoiled my name. And I do (not) want to be part of you anymore. Go to any place you want in your heart”.

    I agree with what your chemistry teacher taught you- the mother is very powerful in her child’s life. And so, you must protect your son from his mother (and her mother).

    My thoughts regarding your estranged wife’s young brother calling you for their rent money, their financial needs-

    – like you wrote earlier, “when a woman begins to cheat  on her husband, then she is planning to divorce”. This means that your estranged wife is no longer your wife. Legally she is, but in every other way, she is no longer your wife. She was, but is no longer. And it was her choosing, not yours.

    This means that you do not have any financial responsibilities for her whatsoever. Let’s say she and her younger brother and sister… and mother need rent money and they may become homeless if they don’t get money to pay rent- their situation would be the same as many other people in South Sudan, where you live, people without a home. Notice this: you have no more responsibility to your estranged wife’s family than to any other family who is homeless in Juba, South Sudan.

    Giving her money makes as much sense as giving any homeless stranger money, you are not more obligated to her family (herself, her mother, her sister and brother) than you are obligated to any other stranger. I know you are not a rich man, so you can’t help everyone who needs help. Help your son first, help yourself. If you ever have more than you need, more than your son needs, then help those strangers you choose to help.

    anita

     

     

     

     

    May 17, 2019 at 10:48 am #294253
    Thondit
    Participant

    Dear Anita ,

    Thanks for not getting rid of me, ,, , you are my power.

    My right hand ? to raise up . You are my backbone.

    My eye to other roads of stapling block, ,,,,

    I will be overwhelmed to see more ideas of responding the rest of the posts .

    So should I a help my younger brother in-laws.?  I don’t see any benefits to me when I give them back up.

    They will used it , still underestimate me.

    I had done a lots of things more than anyone can not do.  I used to give 100$ dollar to my mother in-laws for her air times for a months . I thought she will stand up with me when her daughter go wrong. But she avail to me.

    She is my real enemy now more than my wife.

    My mother in law is very terrible and horrible.

    Thanks.

    Gregory

    May 17, 2019 at 11:15 am #294257
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gregory:

    No, don’t give any money to the household of your estranged wife, that includes her mother and all who live there under the authority of her mother. If you see the primary school boy, your estranged wife’s brother hungry, and you have food to give, then feed him. Same as if you see any person hungry with no way to eat.

    Like I wrote, you are not responsible to that household, to the estranged wife, her mother, her sister, brother. You are only responsible for your son and yourself. On top of it, you have the responsibility we all have, if we come across hungry people, starving for nutrients, then feed them, if we come across people in the cold, give them a blanket and so forth, according to our ability.

    anita

    May 17, 2019 at 1:31 pm #294277
    Thondit
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thanks for the good cooperation you had with me.  I promise , I will not help any of them, , , since my sister in-laws is working as a cashier in the salon then , she will provide everything they need because she told me those days that she do go to plane the hair and she get the money out of it.

    Also this boy,  my brother in-law request me to give him my smart phone or buy for him the new on and I know that , if I give him my phone then,  her sister which my wife will took it away from him.

    He is really disturbing me.

    Thanks.

    Gregory

    May 17, 2019 at 2:45 pm #294287
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gregory:

    You are welcome. Don’t give this boy your smart phone, for crying out loud!

    Because “He is really disturbing (you)”, – you can tell him kindly that you can’t talk to him anymore. You can suggest to him to talk  to one of the nice teachers in his primary school, a teacher he likes,  about anything that bothers him.

    I will soon be away from the computer for the rest of the day and will be back in about 16 hours from now. I hope to read from you later.

    anita

    May 17, 2019 at 6:38 pm #294309
    Thondit
    Participant

    Dear Anita ,

    Thank you for the good advice.

    Yours sincerely words is well taken .

    I did not plan for them anything bad . I was like theirs elder brother. So if her sister had ignored me then let everything be bygones .

    Thanks.

    May 18, 2019 at 7:16 am #294331
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gregory:

    You are welcome. I didn’t understand this sentence: “So if her sister had ignored me then let everything be bygones”- I thought it is her brother who contacted you. Did her sister contact you as well? I hope you can explain this sentence to me.

    anita

    May 18, 2019 at 8:23 am #294345
    Thondit
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Sorry for the typing error anyway.

    I mean that if her sister had got a job,  then let them be supporting themselves.

    My brother in-law , was the one who had call me,  to help him with the phone.

    And however,  I think he need the phone just to give it to her sister ; which is my estrange wife. Or the sell it away to support them in the house needs.

     

    Thanks

    May 18, 2019 at 8:24 am #294347
    Thondit
    Participant

    If my wife had ignored me ; just to see me like I am not responsible then I can’t help anymore.

    May 18, 2019 at 8:42 am #294353
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gregory:

    I understand. Better not give him a phone and again, you are financially responsible for your son and yourself, not for your estranged wife and her family of origin.

    anita

    May 18, 2019 at 10:41 am #294395
    Thondit
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thanks a lots.  I had told him before when I met him and said I can not give you a phone due to some circumstance that I want to fixed it.

    He had agree with me anyhow though I read something at his face .

    So that is how we end when I met him.  I told him I will help you in future , since you the uncle to my blood Son,  Agoth Gregory .

    Thanks

    Gregory

    May 18, 2019 at 10:59 am #294403
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gregory:

    I will be back to the computer to read and reply to you in about 20 hours from now.

    anita

    May 18, 2019 at 11:45 am #294421
    Thondit
    Participant

    No problem , , take your time .

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